Scandal: A Private Novel
by leaps578
Summary: Reed is back at Easton and is trying to get over the incidents that happened over winter break. But what happens when her life is threatened once again? Who is trying to kill her this time? Does Josh still love her? Will he break up with Ivy? Read
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: No, I am not Kate Brian and I do not own anything. So please don't hurt me!!!**

_My life had just gotten very interesting. (End of Suspicion)_

I re-opened my eyes and they found Sawyer's gray ones. He still had the shy, comforting smiling on and I felt like a weight had been pulled off my shoulders. Mr. Hathaway came and pulled him and Graham towards Hell Hall. I looked back at Noelle and saw her screaming into her phone at her dad. Wow, I am so glad I don't have to face the wrath of her anymore. If I was on the other end, oh, I would have been a puddle on goop by now.

"_What!?_ Are you seriously saying you agreed to this?" Noelle fumed into the phone with her back to me. "Uh huh, you really just _had_ to just tear down the thing that meant the most to me here at Easton? Thanks Dad, glad to know you would betray me like this." Noelle snapped her phone shut and turned to look at me. Her face looked unnaturally red. Red so bad it looked like burning sunburn that screamed when you applied a penny size amount of pressure on it.

"Reed," Noelle said in a tensed voice, "we are so going to fight this. I assure you that we will have Billings rebuilt by the end of the month. I mean, seriously!! You were going to come live there again and now we have to live in….Pemberley. Oh my god." she looked like she was going to be sick and ran in the door of Bradwell towards the nearest bathroom.

"What? You were going to move back there?" Ivy asked, making her presence known once more. Josh was standing behind her looking at me with the same unreadable expression. His eyes bored into mine and I felt my heart beat faster. Gosh, why did he have to do that to me? I was….over him. Yes, I was so over him….no….I wasn't. Why did my life have to be so complicated?

"Yeah, I was," I softly said while looking into Josh's clear blue green eyes. "I'm sorry. It's just, that single is crap and I finally got my friends to like me again and I just wanted to be there." I glanced down at my feet and looked back up to see Ivy with a confused expression on her face.

"Oh, I understand, I guess," Ivy started, "that single is a piece of crap." She laughed sort of breaking the awkward tension. "But I don't think you are going anywhere now. Billings looks gone and I really think we should be friends, since you are still going to be living right next to me." I stared at her in shock. She wanted to be friends with me? After getting her shot and practically drooling over her boyfriend? I composed my face and answered her.

"That would be…great, Ivy. And are you sure you are okay with this? I mean, I almost got you killed and you still want to be my friend?" I looked into her eyes and saw a caring look in them. Weird.

"Reed, you've been through a hell of a lot more than I have. Which by the way, are you sure you are okay? I was shocked and a little freaked when I heard you had been missing. Josh here looked like he was going to pass out," she gestured to Josh. I looked at him and he looked at me like he couldn't believe I was actually here. Alive. Does that mean he still loves me? Oh, please I hope so. Wait. I have Upton, I love him. I was going to sleep with him. But once I looked at Josh, everything I did over winter break flew out the window. Damn him. Why did he have to be with Ivy? Come on Josh. Come back to me.

"I'm okay at the moment. It hasn't really sunk all the way yet. I tell you when I can talk about it, but not right now. Thanks for thinking about me," I said with emotion finding its way into my voice.

"I'm glad you are okay Reed, really," Josh said. He looked like he wanted to say more but he bit his tongue.

I smiled at him and he smiled back. It was a real smile. It was the smile that I haven't seen in a really long time. He finally broke the unreadable expression and looked into my eyes. I could see several emotions in there. Joy, confusion, hurt, jealously…love? Was he happy that I was here, or happy about his relationship with Ivy? Was he jealous of Sawyer? Why? Sawyer was a friend. More like a brother to me than anything else. Ugh. Why does he have to be so confusing? Just break up with her, gently of course, and then come to me. Kiss me and tell me you love me.

"Thanks," I had to break eye contact before I fell over. "I'm glad you think that, but you guys didn't have to ruin the time you had together worrying about me."

"We care about you Reed. You're our friend and we're both glad you are okay. Hopefully this year will really be filled with happiness and no drama," Ivy said. No drama? Yes, that sounded perfect. A phone starting playing Full Service by The New Kids on the Block and Ivy pulled it out of her pocket. She looked at the caller ID and a smile spread across her face.

"Sorry, I have to take this. I really glad you are okay Reed, see you later Josh," she gave him a peck on the cheek and walked away. Josh face turned in a mask as soon as her lips pressed into his cheek. His eyes flashed to me and burned a hole in my eyes. Wow. What is that all about?

As soon as Ivy was out of ear shot, Josh took a step towards me. His face softened and his eyes cleared. I swear my legs turned to jello. All my muscles relaxed and it felt like all my fear, uncertainty and worry left my body. How the _hell_ does he do that? Why does he have that effect on me? Oh, I know why. It's because I love him with all my heart and I want to be able to hug, and kiss him all the time I'm around him. He looked at me like…he used to. The same look that he used to give me that held all the love in the world. Wow. Screw Upton. Josh Hollis all the way. He saw the change in my expression and smiled a little bit.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" Josh softly asked me. His blue, green eyes held love and longing.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Good as I'll ever be. I'm just a little shaken still, you know? I'm just glad it is all over, I guess," I said while gazing into his eyes. I wanted to kiss him so bad, but he wasn't my man. He was Ivy's man. God, what am I doing? Do I want another repeat of taking another girls' man. No, but I want Josh. He saw the change in my face again.

"I have to go. See you later," I told him. I had to get out of there. I didn't give him a chance to respond. I turned on my heel and headed to where Noelle had run to. I glanced over my shoulder and he was still standing there, looking at me. He had his hand stretched out toward the spot I was just standing in. I don't know what was going on in his head, but the one thing I did know was that he is going to find me to talk later. I had to be strong and ready. I just had to be.

After spending an hour trying to find Noelle I gave up. I glanced at the clock on my phone and noticed it was time for dinner. After grapping my dark blue pea coat I started heading in the direction of the cafeteria. Where the hell is Noelle? She probably went to scream her head off at Mr. Hathaway. He was so going to get an earful. Noelle suddenly came up behind me, looking a lot better than she had this morning. She probably did scream at him.

"Hey," she said, "ugh, I'm going to kill Hathaway. God, I've known him forever but he just…won't do."

"Won't do? What? Did he not fall for the charm of Noelle Lange?" I laughed. "You know some people just can't be bought."

"Whatever. If he doesn't rebuild Billings, he will never live it down. Do you know how much money all of the Billings Girls pay to this school every semester? Tons. When he doesn't get his check in the mail, he will know what hit him. And I even have more up my sleeve that he will not see coming," Noelle's eyes looked dark and cold. Oh, she was so going to get revenge.

"Can you just leave me out of it? I don't really need any more fights right now," I asked. I so did not want to be part of any of this. I have enough on my plate as it is.

"Fine," Noelle said. Wow, that was easy. I guess she knew what I was really feeling. We finally reached the cafeteria. Good, I don't think I can feel my ears. Stupid freezing cold weather.

We walked in and I felt the heat soak into my body. Eyes flashed to me and whispers started to fill the room. Great. Love it. People, just leave me alone! Noelle saw them and glared until everyone had their eyes in respectful places. We walked up to the line and got our food. I felt eyes on my back and tried to ignore the feeling. I waited for Noelle to be done and we walked side by side to the Billings table. God, I love it here. Constance looked like she was about to explode but I gave her a look that said '_later'_. The conversation picked up but I concentrated on my food. I felt eyes on my head, but they just weren't anyone eyes. They were Josh's. I have no idea how I knew but I did. I looked up and locked eyes with him across the room. He was sitting next to Ivy while she chatted away with the table. He wanted to come over here, you could see that.

I broke eye contact knowing that if I would look in those eyes for too long, I would cause myself more pain later. I focused on my food and every now and then glanced up to see Josh looking at me. The thing I wanted to do was jump up, run across the room and hop into his toned baseball arms.

I finished my dinner quickly and excused myself from the table saying something about jet-lag. I walked out the door and was halfway across the fluffy white quad when I heard a man's voice call my name.

"Reed!"

Josh Hollis.

**A/N: Hey!! My name is Nicole and this is my very first fan fiction. I been thinking about writing a story for the Private section for a while and here it is!! Please tell me what you want to happen and if there is ANY mistakes. I'm a little OCD about mistakes. Haha. Plus, I have read pretty much all of the stories in the Private section so yeah addicted much? And this was 6 pages on Word!! GEESH!!!**

**Please review so I don't think this is crap. Reviews will make me keep writing!!**

**Hope you like it--****Nicole**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Private and I'm am not Kate Brian.**

_I walked out the door and was halfway across the fluffy white quad when I heard a man's voice call my name._

"_Reed!"_

_Josh Hollis._

Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap. Don't stop walking; just pretend you didn't hear him. I can't talk to him now. I didn't know what to say, what to do. I don't want to say I'm happy for him being with Ivy because I'm not. I want to tell him how I feel, no, not that I love him but all the things I have been bottling in.

"Reed!! Hey, wait up!" Josh called again. The sound and tone of his voice made me know something was up. He had the serious '_we need to talk'_ tone, but there was something else that I couldn't put my finger on. Longing? Begging me to stop? Wanting me to stop? Why did he—

My thought stopped there because right then my foot hit a large patch of ice and slide trying to find traction. It couldn't find anything, which caused me to fall back; right on my tailbone.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath. God that hurt. I think I heard it crack. Hot tears welled up in my eyes threatening to fall. Ugh, stupid ice. I was about to attempt picking my body up of the ground when I heard heavy footsteps running up from behind me.

My thoughts took me back to when I was going to leave Easton for good, after a psycho tried to kill me the first time. When I heard Josh's feet pounding on the ground. He was trying to get to me before I left. That was the time when he wanted me. Actually truly loved me and wanted me. Why couldn't it be like that again? Josh concerned, worried voice brought me back to the present.

"Reed! God, are you okay? Here," Josh stretched out his hand. His eyes looked hopeful. His hand lowered towards mine and I grabbed his. I could feel the electricity flowing through my gloves. It felt like sparks flowed through his hand to mine causing my heart to start fluttering like a butterfly and made me forget about my throbbing lower back.

"Thanks. Yeah, I'm fine," I mumbled. I looked anywhere but him. I just couldn't meet his eyes. I couldn't look at him and know that he will never be mine again.

"Are you sure? You hit the ground really hard. Why were you trying to get away from me? Did I do something wrong?" Josh asked with confusion filled in his voice. Did you do something wrong? Of course you did, you picked Ivy over me! How could you do that? Leave me empty and cold while you stomped and shattered my heart every time you and Ivy made an appearance. But I couldn't say that. That would just make things more awkward, or more than they already were.

"No, you didn't. I just, I don't know," I muttered lamely, "I'm sorry. I just acted on impulse. Why were you following me?"

"I wanted to talk to you. You know, clear some things up," Josh answered. I looked up and his eyes locked with mine. "Can we do that?" he asked.

I nodded. I had one thing I was meaning to ask him and better to get it over with. I don't think this was going to end well. "Why didn't you call me Josh? You said you were going to call and tell me about Ivy, but you never did. I wanted to know and hear about her," I said while looking into his eyes. They hardened when I said Ivy.

"I….I just couldn't. I wanted to, I really did but I didn't want to bother you," Josh admitted quietly. He looked at the ground like he was ashamed of what he did.

"Bother me? You would never bother me Josh," I said. How could he bother me? He bothered me by _not_ calling. But this showed how our relationship had changed. He didn't feel comfortable calling me anymore. "Was that the only reason you didn't call?"

"No. Noelle called and said you were pushed off the boat. Then Ivy woke up after a nap asking for me. I just couldn't call and check up on my ex-girlfriend when my current girlfriend needed me. But I wanted to call you. I needed to hear your voice but I couldn't find the nerve to do it," Josh explained. I flinched when he said 'ex-girlfriend'. But I felt my anger boiling up. I don't know why I was mad but I just was.

"But I needed you Josh. I needed a friend. I needed someone who would listen and believe me. Only one person believed me when I was pushed of the boat and that was Sawyer. But I needed more than one person to be there. In the hospital you said you had to stay with Ivy because she needed you and she still needs you now, but," I said and looked into his eyes.

The next words I said without even thinking about it and I couldn't stop them, "I keep getting excuses from you Josh. You keep saying how you have to stay with Ivy. How much she needs you. But now I'm starting to see that you want to stay with her. You don't want to leave her and you say _she_ needs you, but _you_ need _her_." Tears were forming in my eyes. I didn't want to believe this but everything was coming together. It really was.

"No, Reed. I'm not giving you excuses; I'm telling you the truth," Josh said quickly. He eyes looked like they were filling with tears too. "I can't lose you Reed, I can't. But, Ivy. She just needs someone to be there."

"And you think I don't? I can't wait forever Josh. I can't wait for you to wake up and smell the true love. I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to come to your senses while you say she needs you and get my hopes up for nothing," I argued. The tears were falling now and I couldn't stop them. "Just tell me right now if you are going to leave her," I demanded. I knew I was being harsh and I couldn't believe I was making him do this.

I looked up at Josh. My tears were blurring my vision and I knew I was going to crack sooner or later. I saw a tear fall out of his eyes and roll down his cheek. His eyes were full of many more tears to come. I could see in his eyes that he was battling against himself. Doing the right thing and staying with her or what? Screwing everything and coming back to me?

"I can't. Not now," Josh said, the words cracking with his tears, "But I want you Reed. I need you but I can't leave her when she is gaining her health back. I want to be with you Reed, I do."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was his choice; her or me. And he chose her. He said he wanted to be with me but the thing with Ivy never left my mind. I'm not a play toy. He is playing with me and my emotions and then saying he needs to stay with her.

"Am I just a game to you? Was I always just a game? When Thomas died did you think 'let's mess with the new girl who just lost her boyfriend', or 'let's make her fall hard for me.' Did you truly ever even have feelings for me? Because only days after we broke up you were with Ivy. You picked yourself up so quickly and got over me. Did you, did you ever really even love me?" I was falling apart and my heart was breaking even more.

I didn't let him respond. I have had enough. I got my answers and they hurt like hell.

"I don't even know why I even came back here anymore. Have a good time with Ivy, Josh," I walked past him and speed walked to Pemberly while carefully avoiding all the ice. I couldn't believe what had just happened. My heart just completely shattered. I just walked away from the love of my life.

The tears were oozing out of my eyes and a sob was building in my chest. I just had to keep it in until I got to my room, then I could bawl my eyes out. When I reached the door I glanced back to where Josh was standing. Is head was in his hands and his back was heaving with sobs. I cannot take this anymore. My phone vibrated and I looked down at the ID. Please do not be Upton. Please do not be Upton. Please do not be Upton. I breathed a sigh of relief or as much as I could when I was bawling my eyes out in front of Pemberly, when I saw it was Noelle. I stumbled inside and answered the phone.

"Hello," I whimpered.

"Crap. I'm coming now. Don't do anything stupid," Noelle demanded. I walked up to my disgusting single, opened the door, closed it and leaned against it. My butt hit the floor and I hid my eyes in my knees.

What happened to my life? Why did I have to fall in love then get my heart broken like it happened in the stupid movies I've seen over and over? And now I sit here crying my eyes out over a guy I fell head over heels for. Strong Reed was gone and in her place was Weak, Heartbroken Reed. Something in me finally cracked and I started crying about all the things that happened over winter break. Being in the water, being stranded of the island, everything.

I started crying harder if that was even possible and somehow moved over to my bed. I hear the door open and close and Noelle's black Jimmy Choo ballet flats step across the floor. The awful bed shifted as she sat down. She moved some of my hair out of my tear streaked face and I looked up to see her concerned brown eyes looking down at me.

"What happened? Did he hurt you?" Noelle asked calmly. Hurt me? Not physically but emotionally. He hurt me to the point of no return. I don't think I will ever be the same again. No one will ever be able to seal up the hole in my chest besides Josh. But he was the one who opened it. No. Wrong. S….Sabine is the one who did this. God, it hurt to even think her name. I shook that thought out of my head and answered Noelle.

"No. We just, we just talked. And I said some things that I shouldn't have said. Plus, he admitted that he had to, he had to," I stopped there, not able to continue.

"He had to what? Stay with Ivy? Oh, that asshole. That stupid asshole!! He doesn't deserve you Reed," Noelle fumed, "and you are so much better than her. Hollis is so going to get it."

"Noelle," I croaked out, "don't hurt him. Do anything within reason, just don't hurt him, or ruin possessions, or get him kicked out of Easton."

"Geesh Reed, take all the fun out of it, but I think I have something up my sleeve," Noelle laughed.

I cracked a laugh and wiped the dried tears off my face. Just then I heard Ivy's door close next door. I glanced at Noelle and she had one eyebrow raised.

"Ugh, I hate this stupid weather!" Ivy complained next door. You could hear her perfectly clear because of the vent. Damn that vent to hell. Noelle's eyebrow rose even more and she almost burst out laughing.

"God, Reed you had to listen to this?" Noelle whispered. I nodded and Noelle laughed quietly. I got up off my bed and headed over to my open suitcases that I had thrown in here this morning. I started taking things out and put them on my desk. I picked up the necklace Sawyer gave me and set it on top of everything. That is when I saw it. A note. A note that was sitting on top of my untouched computer paper. I didn't remember leaving that there. I went and picked it up not recognizing the hand writing. I read the note and gasped. Oh God, not again. I froze in place and couldn't move. Noelle saw my sudden freeze and walked over to stand in front of me.

"Reed? Earth to Reed! What is it?" Noelle questioned.

I looked down at the note and Noelle grabbed it. She looked at it and her eyes locked on mine once more. She dropped it on the floor and came and hugged me. But I could still see it lying there and the writing facing towards me. I read it one more time:

_Reed,_

_I didn't think you would actually come back, but since you did, it makes my job a little bit easier. Watch your back Reed because none of this is over. You are going down this time; I will make sure of that. And I love the little fall you had outside. Remember I'm watching you._

_I will be seeing you around,_

_Your Worst Nightmare……_

**A/N WOW!! Finally got that out! Don't worry Josh and Reed fans!! I have a plan. I am 100% Team Rosh/Team Brollis, so don't kill me.**

**I just couldn't have them get together too fast because it's kind of cheesy to have them see each other and be all "I'm Sorry and I Love You!!" The time will come but after some life changing experiences :)**

**My updates will probably be on weekends only. The week days are too busy with school, gymnastics, show choir, and cheerleading starting up soon so, WEEKENDS=UPDATES!! I will try every weekend and look for updates.**

**Thank you for all of the reviews! I loved reading all of them.**

**Review please, Nicole**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: If I owned Private, Reed and Josh would be together right now. So, I do not this.**

_But I could still see it lying there and the writing facing towards me. I read it one more time:_

_Reed,_

_I didn't think you would actually come back, but since you did, it makes my job a little bit easier. Watch your back Reed because none of this is over. You are going down this time; I will make sure of that. And I love the little fall you had outside. Remember I'm watching you._

_I will be seeing you around,_

_Your Worst Nightmare……_

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Oh God. This can't be happening again. Who wants to kill me now? I don't think I pissed anyone insane off in awhile. Or not since I got off the plane from St. Barts. Why, why, why, why, why? Why does this have to happen to me? And all this happened because of my love life; Thomas, Josh, and Upton.

Noelle still had her arms wrapped around me while I was lost in my wild thoughts. I tore my eyes away from the horrid scrap of paper and tried to fight off the tears that were threatening to spill over for the second time that night. Noelle pulled back to look into my eyes.

"Reed, I'm not leaving you here all alone. I'm going to get my stuff and we will try to sleep in this crap room of yours," Noelle told me with concern in her dark brown eyes. "I'm going to make sure nothing happens to you again. You've been through way too much." You can say that again.

Noelle was actually going to stay with me in the hell hole of a room. Wow, she really cares. I wonder what I would do without her now; it is so good to have her back in my life again. She is becoming my rock. Josh used to be my rock. He was person that I always went to. Well not anymore.

"Thanks, Noelle. I would really like to have someone here, and I'm glad that it is you," I said honestly. She is my best friend and she always will be.

"I'm going to run and get my bags. Don't move. Stay in this building and on this floor only," she told me. I nodded my head and bit my tongue to hold back the _'okay, mom'_.

"Stay," she said to prove her point. I always broke the rules people set for me and she knew that, but I think listening to her this time will help save my life.

Noelle picked up her navy blue Tribeca Op Art Lurex Coach shoulder bag that was placed on my bed, and headed towards the door.

"I will be right back," she said as she softly clicked the door closed. I closed my eyes and tried to erase the last twenty minutes from my memory; the conversation with Josh and me finding the note. Oh. My. God. The person had been in my room mere minutes before I came in here! They were watching as I fell down on my ass. They were watching from my room.

My breathing picked up and I felt the room suddenly get smaller. No, no, no. I will not have a panic attack. I just have to get out of this space for a minute. Just like when you wake up and have a stomach ache. Moving to a different location, like the couch, makes you feel better. Just step out into the hall. Yes, the hall.

I got my feet to move to the door and I pulled it open. I took a few steps out of the doorway and slumped against the wall. How did my life fall to pieces? Why does everything have to come crumbling down once things get better? I put my butt on the floor and my forehead hit the top of my knees. I'm falling apart at the seams and I can't do anything to stop it.

After sitting there for 5 minutes, I heard Ivy's door open. A pair of footsteps quickly walked over to me.

"Reed? Are you okay?" Ivy spoke. Concern was filled into her voice. Once again; weird.

I lifted my heavy head and gave her a shaky nod. _Great job at being the New Reed that isn't scared of anything_, I thought bitterly to myself.

"That is a load of shit Reed, and you know it. You look like you just got kicked in the stomach. What happened!?!" Ivy spoke with a mixture of concern and annoyance in her voice. She wasn't far off base. I did feel like I got kicked in the stomach. I didn't say anything and Ivy let out an annoyed sigh and sat down next to me. There is the Ivy I first met; the one annoyed at the world.

"Come on, spill, Reed. If you don't talk about it now, you are going to keep it bottled in and then blow up out of nowhere," Ivy said softer this time. She was right but I felt more comfortable to talk to Noelle about it.

"I….I just was thinking about the things that happened over winter break," I lied. There was no way I was going to tell her the truth. I didn't need pity from her too.

"Oh. I heard about it. I can't even imagine what you went through and you don't even deserve it, Reed. You are too good of person to have all that happen to you," she said. Wow, a compliment from the girl that got shot because of me. "Do you want to talk about any of it? Not the bad parts, just the good parts of the vacation."

"Well, I met a guy, Upton. But I don't think things are going to work out," I said truthfully. Things with Upton were just a fling. He could never compete with my feelings for Josh.

"Well, well, Reed Brennan had a fling over winter break. Why aren't things going to last?" Ivy said going along with the information I was giving to her.

_Because I'm in love with your boyfriend,_ I thought but of course I couldn't say it out loud.

"Like you said it was a fling. He was sweet but I don't care about him," I said. I needed to call Upton and break it off with him. It wasn't healthy to string him along when I was totally in love with someone else.

"Well, at least you had some fun bu--" Ivy started but was cut off by Noelle.

"Hey, I'm back," She said looking at me and Ivy sitting on the floor. "Why are you out here?" she asked.

"I just needed some air," I said. I picked myself off the ground and Ivy did the same. She had an icy glare pointed at Noelle, which she returned.

"See you around, Reed," she spoke to me. She attempted a friendly smile and headed back to the direction of her room.

"Bye," I whispered and walked back into my room. My thoughts went to how I was going to break up with Upton. I had to do it soon and fast. Noelle followed and noticed I was in my own little world. We got ready for bed and both slept on the floor, which by the way was so much better than the crap bed. I thought Noelle would take the bed but she was surprising me like usual.

While we were laying there in the dark, Noelle broke the silence.

"Do you want to talk about it Reed?" she asked.

"Not right now," I whispered. I didn't want to think about the note now. I just wanted to forget about it for the next couple hours and deal with it in the morning.

"Okay. But just know that I am here for you Reed. I will listen anytime to have to talk," she said. She will listen anytime I had to talk. Like she will listen when I had to explain things and not get kicked out of her life again.

"Thanks. Night," I spoke softly.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning I woke up free of nightmares. My stomach growled and I looked over to see Noelle sitting on the bed putting on her make-up. She gave me a look that said, '_get up now'_. I quickly showered and changed into black yoga pants and a long-sleeve blue t-shirt. I french braided my bangs and threw the rest of my long brown hair in a messy bun. I put on some simple make up, grabbed my new white Gucci hobo bag, slipped into my pea-coat and walked into the hall where Noelle was texting on her I-phone.

"The rest of the girls are going to meet us there," she told me while we walked out the door of Pemberly.

"Okay. How was your first night in Pemberly?" I asked while trying to dodge all the ice in the pathway toward the cafeteria.

"Horrible. I can't believe you lived there without going insane," she half laughed. "But leave it to me; Billings will be up again in no time. Then all of us won't have to stay in horrible places."

"Good. That room almost did drive me insane, but being in Billings would be so much better," I said half out of it. My mind replayed what happened last night in my horrible room. Finding the note flashed through my mind once more.

We walked into the doors and were warm in seconds. I still felt the eyes of everyone on me and tried to ignore them.

"I heard she got pushed off a boat," a girl whispered to her posse as me and Noelle walked up to the line. Noelle heard her and shot her a death glare which made the girl shrink into her seat. Good to see she was sticking up for me.

We were almost through the line when my phone vibrated in my bag. I dug it out and didn't recognize the number the text was from. Oh no.

I hesitated and clicked the text to open it. It read:

_How was your stay in Pemberly last night? Horrible, like Noelle put it? Yes, I was listening when you were talking to her before. Scared much? Good. Have a wonderful day, and watch out because something is going to happen; something big._

_Lots of Love,_

_You know who…._

I took a sharp breath and felt my heartbeat speed up. They were listening this morning? It was just minutes ago! There was no one there, or at least no one I saw. Shit.

I set the food I just picked up back down and speed walked to the door, ignoring the questioning stares I was getting. I just had to get out of there. I know it was stupid to go anywhere alone but the room felt like it was closing in on me.

Once I hit the path outside the cafeteria I broke into a run. I had absolutely no idea where I was going. The library? I slowed to a walk and turn my head around to see if anyone was following me. No one was there.

I turned my head back around but ran into something or rather someone. The force knocked me off my balance and I was falling backwards, but two strong arms caught me before I could hit any body part against the cold ground. I recognized the scent immediately and looked up to see Josh Hollis staring back at me.

Great.

**A/N This was really hard to write. There wasn't anything really happening so it was pretty much a filler. Things will speed up later! And I only got about 5 reviews for the second chapter out of about 156 people reading it :( Will some people review please? I don't want to write this just for myself…**

**Review please, Nicole **


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: I am so not Kate Brian, so don't sue me. I not own anything I put in here :(**_

_I turned my head back around but ran into something or rather someone. The force knocked me off my balance and I was falling backwards, but two strong arms caught me before I could hit any body part against the cold ground. I recognized the scent immediately and looked up to see Josh Hollis staring back at me._

_Great. _

As Josh's arms stayed firmly around my waist, my thoughts became completely jumbled. I can't even think straight when he is around me like this! My eyes locked with his and my heart started to beat uncontrollably in my chest. The emotion in his eyes was indescribable and as soon as I thought that, something flashed through them, as if he realized what he was doing.

His tight grip loosened from my body and he stepped back. All I wanted to do was throw my arms around him and breathe in his scent. I wanted to put my face in the warm spot between his head and neck just like I used to. But of course I held my feet firmly in place and waited for him to say something about having to go meet Ivy. Damn her.

"Sorry, I should have been watching where I was going," he apologized and walked right past me, barely meeting my eyes. I turned around and watched as he speed walked to Ketlar. What the hell was that? I actually thought we had a moment there. Why doesn't he see that we have something between us, or was it not the same for him? Did he actually love Ivy?

I pushed that thought out of my mind, not willing myself to believe it. He couldn't love her, he just couldn't. My phone beeped one more time and I couldn't bring myself to pull it out of my pocket. What if it was my brand new stalker? And how did they get my phone number anyway? The phone stopped and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

I finally realized I was standing in the middle of the quad and freezing my ass off. The heat left behind by Josh vanished and my teeth started chattering. I quickly walked to the first building I saw. The library.

My tense muscles uncoiled as I breathed in the scent of the wood. I walked farther in and looked at the scene before me. The dark chocolate brown wood bookcases lined the whole room filled with endless amounts of books. The comfy chairs looked so inviting I walked over and pretty much collapsed in the over cushioned chair.

There were two guys at the tables hunched over books not paying any attention to me. I felt finally at peace and closed my eyes. My phone vibrated in my pocket once more and my eyes snapped open. This wasn't an email or text message, it was a phone call. The extra buzzes confirmed that. I got up and ran to the stacks in the very back of the library so no one could hear what I was about to do.

I sucked in a breath hoping to gain confidence from it and pulled it out of my pocket. The name UPTON flashed across the screen. I did two things when I saw his name; one, thanked God for not having it be my stalker and two, started feeling guilty about what I had to do. Break up with him, officially. I didn't feel anything for him, it was nothing compared to what I felt with Josh.

I pressed talk and mentally prepared myself for this break up, hopefully he'll take it well.

"Hello?" I spoke into the phone. I was surprised my voice came out normal and not the quivering mess I thought would appear.

"Reed. You have no idea how good it feels to hear your voice," Upton spoke sexily into the phone. Curse his accent, it was working against what I was about to do.

"Upton, I think we need to talk," I said sadly. He must have heard something change in my tone and the words clicked with him.

"You're dumping me aren't you?" Upton said rather harshly. His voice softened and he spoke again, "I thought we were going to see what happened, and it's only been a day. You just miss me that's all, and you're not thinking straight."

"No, Upton, I'm thinking perfectly fine. I finally came to my senses and realized what you really are, a player," I spoke up with confidence in my voice. I would go down in Upton Games' history for doing this.

"It's over, Upton. I don't love you. I finally realize I love something else and no one can change that," I thought about Josh and how I wanted him and only him. I loved everything about him. His blue-green eyes, his hair, the intoxicating scent that followed him everywhere, and the way there were paint splatters on almost every piece of clothing he owned.

"It's Sawyer, isn't it?" He accused with disgust in his voice. Wow, mood swing. But wait, did he say Sawyer? He thought I loved Sawyer? I mean Sawyer and I were close but in a brother/ sister sort of way. He was the person I could vent to, just like I did with Scott when we were younger. Scott would listen to my feelings about our pill popping mom we once had.

Sawyer and I just had the prospect of losing people we love to vent about. But really, he thought I loved Sawyer!?

Upton's mocking laugh flowed out of the receiver. He laughed like he couldn't believe I would actually fall for someone like that.

"Have fun with that mental case, Reed," Upton mocked and hung up. Screw him. What an arrogant asshole! I dropped my phone out of my sweaty hand and sat on the floor. I closed my eyes and tried to disappear. All I wanted to do was disappear.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I skipped my first few classes, not caring if I was missing something big. When I saw the clock on the wall ticked to 11:30 I decided it was about time to go back to reality. I picked myself up and felt my joints popping from sitting too long. My butt was numb and I was starving. My mind flashed back to the last time I wanted a lot of food. The island.Need food now. Right now. I don't want this feeling anymore.

I walked out of the library and the glaring sun hurt my eyes; just like it did when you walk out of a movie theater. Maybe I spend more time in there than I thought. I was halfway across the quad when Noelle found me.

"Reed! Where the hell have you been!? I thought I said to go nowhere alone!" Noelle hissed at me. Her brown eyes were filled with anger but mostly concern.

"Sorry, I just kind of snapped. I needed to be alone for a little bit," I said in a calm tone.

"Did the person contact you again?" she asked lowly, pulling me to a stop. I didn't want to say it out loud so I just nodded. "Let me see it," she whispered and I glanced to see her eyes. They looked like she wanted to murder the person who was doing this to me. _Go ahead Noelle_, I thought, _just cover your tracks._

I slipped my phone out of my pocket and handed it to her. She read it and then proceeded to flip through my calls. She paused and raised an eyebrow when she saw the call from Upton.

"You ran off to call Mr. I Screw Every Girl I See? Why couldn't you just come to me? You know, your best friend," she pointed out. She had a point at the nickname for him.

"I didn't run off to call him, he called me. I just had to finish some business, technically dumping his British ass," I confessed to her. She smirked and handed me my phone back. She didn't say anything about the message but there was something unreadable in her eyes. She had a plan.

"I never thought you had it in you, but you may be the first in history to dump Upton Giles. And that is something I thought I would never see happen," she laughed and started walking toward the cafeteria again.

"Let's just say I finally came to my senses," I muttered mostly to myself but she must have heard it.

"Finally," she said sarcastically. She blocked my path to the door and spoke again, "And did a certain someone influence this 'coming to my senses' excuse?" She tilted her head toward Josh walking toward us with his head down.

Am I that easy to read? Is it that obvious I still have feelings for him?

"Maybe," I muttered mysteriously and stepped around her to get out of the excruciating cold.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The rest of the day went on without any messages from my stalker. Or none I knew off because I shut my phone off. I am so turning into a chicken.

After the final bell of the day rang I was gathering my stuff to put in my bag when the professor came up to me.

"Reed, Headmaster Hathaway wants to speak to you in his office right away," he said with a grim smile, like he knew what was going to happen to me. Okay…weird.

Ten minutes later I found myself sitting in the warm office of Mr. Hathaway. The dark wood contrasted well with the newly painted burnt orange walls. I guess he was going for a homey look when he expelled people from the school.

"Reed, I called you here to see how you were doing," he said in a concerned voice. Oh, how I'm doing? Well, I'm absolutely fine. I just lost my home, thanks to you by the way, I was recently trying to be killed and I have a new stalker. I'm fabulous. But I didn't say that out loud. I was supposed to be mad at him for tearing down Billings.

"Fine," I said coldly while looking at the roaring fire place.

"I know you're upset with the decision on Billings but I had no choice," he spoke again. No choice!? Of course you had a choice, specifically the one saying 'NO'!! If he wasn't the one who could kick me out of here I would so have yelled at him, but there is no way I'm heading back to Bumblefuck, Pennsylvania now.

I kept my lips in a tight line and waited until he let me out of there. The rest of the conversation included _'it was the best for the school'_ and my favorite, _'I was put under a lot of pressure and finally caved'_. Jerk. When I was excused I walked out into the hallway and headed toward the door of Hell Hall. I finally decided to turn on my phone and wait for the hell I had to face. Joy, let's get stalked. FUN!! I shoved it in my pocket like I always do and I just finished wrapping my scarf around my neck when I ran into someone for the second time that day. I looked up and was about to apologize until I saw who it was.

Josh. Didn't this happen before? We were always running into each other, literally. Was the universe trying to tell us something?

"I think I really need to start watching where I walk," he laughed breaking some of the tension between us.

"Yeah, same here," I said lamely. I was about to walk past him to open the door when his hand grabbed my upper arm.

"Wait," Josh said, "can we talk?" His eyes searched mine and they pleaded for me to say yes.

"Sure," I said hesitantly. I don't want this to end up in another yelling and crying scene.

He pulled me to the lobby of Hell Hall and then sat down on one of the tan leather couches. He patted the space next to him and I slowly sat next to him. I looked at my hands and tried to think straight with him sitting so close.

"I heard about the guy you were seeing over break," Josh suddenly said. I snapped my head up to the statement he just made. _This _is what we were going to talk about. Wait. Was he jealous? I tried to lock eyes with him, but he was the one looking away now. Damn, if I could just see his eyes I could see how he really felt.

"Oh, I sort of broke up with him. He was just a fling and nothing more. I don't think it would have lasted either," I said softly. Josh turned his head and met my eyes. They had some hurt, relief and some….hope? Hope? "How did you know about that?" I questioned. Noelle wouldn't have said anything, I know she wouldn't. Maybe Gage? Or worse….

"Ivy," he muttered. Ah. Why would she tell him about me? Wouldn't that be a little weird? Just like, _'Oh, I was talking to your ex-girlfriend today after she almost got killed a week earlier, and she said she met someone. What do you think about that?'_

"I'm sorry, Reed. I just….I should have called you when I promised I would. And I should have checked it to see if you were okay. It's what a friend would do," he apologized. _It's what a friend would do_ kept running through my mind. Did he want to be just friends? If he did, I don't think friends look at each other the way he was looking at me right then.

"It's okay, I guess," I said. It was so not okay but I didn't feel like yelling at him.

"No it's not, I just…I'm sorry," he apologized again.

"Josh," I said. It felt so good to say his name. "It's okay, really. With everything that has happened, it's easy to forget. I understand. And I'm not mad. After all of this I think I need a little more live in the moment stuff; because you never know when it can be your last. More of not living in the past and a little forgive and forget is okay too."

"I am so glad you are okay. You have no idea how glad I am," Josh said softly. His voice was full of emotion and it sounded thankful that I didn't get hurt. Or hurt worse. I decided to change the subject to ask a question I really wanted the answer to.

"Josh, before, at Kiran's pre-party, what were you going to talk to me about? Was it the gift I got you?" I said in a rush. It hurt to think about that night. That horrible night.

"The gift, yes. I wanted to thank you. It brought back that memory of us painting together. I loved them and it made me think about some things," he smiled as he thought of us splattering paint at each other across his tiny room. The good old days. What did he think about? Us?

"What kind of things?" I almost whispered.

"Things that I was too stupid to think about before but there're back. I mean, they always were there, just a little tainted at the time," Was he talking about his feelings. Love? Hate? Ugh, you have no idea what you do to me Joshua Hollis!!!

Josh's eyes locked with mine once more and I couldn't look away. I was captivated. My hands started to sweat, my heartbeat picked up speed, and my mouth went dry. The place where his knee was touching mine was sending electricity through me. I think I just feel in love with him all over again.

Josh was about to speak again but the phone I just turned on ten minutes ago started to play the special ring I sent to the unknown number. My phone started playing the chorus of Paparazzi by Lady Gaga.

_I'm your biggest fan  
I'll follow you until you love me  
Papa-paparazzi  
Baby there's no other superstar  
You know that I'll be your  
Papa-paparazzi _

Sort of fitting, I thought when I set it. I quickly pulled it out of my pocket and saw the new text. I knew I had to look at it and the "person" might get pissed if I didn't. I didn't want to leave Josh but I can't put anyone else in danger with this if I don't follow directions with this psycho.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," I said sadly. "Can we finish this later?"

Josh looked upset. He wanted me to stay here. Oh here I go again, ditching him just like I did when we used to go out. Great.

"Yeah," he announced, "I'll find you later."

I caught the sadness in his voice. Did he want me as much as I wanted him? Let's just hope so. I stood up and started to walk away. I felt Josh's eyes following me and I sucked in a breath and clicked open the text from person who was ruining my life.

_**A/N: Sorry I didn't update last weekend!! I went to Wicked at 1:30 and then had to write a comparison paper in Honors English. Yuck.**_

_**This is 10 pages!! 10 pages!! So can you review please?? I worked really hard and I would really like it.**_

_**Oo I started a new book and I fell in love with it. It's called The Book of Luke by Jenny O'Connell. It is soo good. And I know it doesn't have Josh or Reed but it is soo good. Check it out!**_

_**So review and you may get another 10 page update next week……**_

_**Love ya, Nicole**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: I am not Kate Brian, but I so want to be.**_

"_I'm sorry, I have to go," I said sadly. "Can we finish this later?"_

_Josh looked upset. He wanted me to stay here. Oh here I go again, ditching him just like I did when we used to go out. Great._

"_Yeah," he announced, "I'll find you later."_

_I caught the sadness in his voice. Did he want me as much as I wanted him? Let's just hope so. I stood up and started to walk away. I felt Josh's eyes following me and I sucked in a breath and clicked open the text from person who was ruining my life._

The message on my cell phone screen appeared as soon as the door to Hell Hall clicked closed. I read the message and sucked in a deep breath.

_To: Reed_

_From: Unknown_

_Have fun hiding out today? You should know by now not to run away from your problems. But I always love a little chase. Oh, and I would love to be there to see your expression when you get the present in your room, but that would give me away. And I want to drag this out as long as I can and see you crack in the process. Enjoy your gift._

_Love,_

_You Know Who_

Oh God. Why couldn't they put locks on the doors? I know I used to enjoy that but why? They were in my room and left me something. What was it?

I finally realized I was standing outside the teacher's building with my ex-boyfriend that I still am madly in love with on the other side of the door. Should I go to my room? Tell Noelle? Okay, first I need back up. I don't need to go there alone and have this crazy person murder me in the dark.

I hit speed dial number 4 while walking quickly toward the quad. The phone rang three times before Noelle's voice floated through the receiver.

"Hey, where are you?"

"I'm walking toward the quad," I responded. "I need your help. Now."

"Did you get another message? God, this person just won't stop," Noelle told me while I heard a door slam in the background.

"That is usually the point of a stalker, Noelle. They don't stop until they get to you," I said. I didn't want to sound like a bitch but between the emotional talk with Josh and that stupid message, my emotions were on edge.

"Don't snap my head off," Noelle replied with annoyance seeping into her voice. "I know this is hard for you but you better be nice. I'm trying to help you."

"Sorry, bad day." I said while coming to a stop in the quad. I glanced around trying to spot Noelle.

"Behind you," a voice spoke from behind me. My heart jumped into my throat and my stomach dropped. Noelle stepped in front of me and caught sight of my expression.

"Sorry, got to remember no sneaking up on you," Noelle said with a slightly concerned voice. While I waited for my heart rate to slow down I ended the call Noelle already hung up on and clicked open the message for her to read.

"Here," I spoke while holding while holding it out to her. While she read I looked over to Ketlar to see Josh walking through the door. His blond hair was windblown from the cold air and flying in every direction. I watched until he was completely inside and looked back to Noelle to see that she followed my gaze.

"Still hung up on Hollis, I see," she spoke mostly to herself. She turned and locked eyes with me again. "Reed, we have to check out what this person left for you. If it's something we know maybe we can connect it to someone."

I nodded and started toward Pemberly with Noelle trailing behind me. My thoughts once again led me to Josh. The emotion in his eyes when I said that I had to go was overbearing. I saw….longing? I wanted him so bad, more than anyone else in my life. He was my life, and that was that. Why did he have to be with Ivy? Why, why, why? I had to ask myself that one question at least 15 times before we made in to the entrance to Pemberly.

When we walked in I froze. I couldn't do this. I couldn't go through another stalking like this. I had to tell the police or something. But look how good that turned out the last time the police got involved.

"Come on!" Noelle said obviously annoyed. I shuddered and let Noelle tug my arm all the way up the stairs. She pulled me to my door and walked right in.

Geesh, I wish I had confidence like that. She could do anything with confidence like that, but she didn't have a stalker trying to make them go insane.

Noelle flipped on the light and I looked around the crap single I was sharing with Noelle. Everything looked like it had this morning. Mine and Noelle's suitcase lying open with half the contents littered around the room. Just then my eye caught something shiny lying on my pillow.

My breathing stopped as I recognized what it was; a subway token on a necklace. The same subway token Thomas gave me for good luck when I first started school at Easton. I didn't think it was very lucky anymore. I completely forgot I had that. I vaguely remembered putting in a shoebox under the bed; filled with photos of home and some of Josh and me.

I haven't opened that shoebox since last year maybe. Only carried it from place to place and shoved it under my bed so no one could find it. The box that held all my memories from childhood and good moments I didn't want to forget, hence the photos with Josh.

Noelle watched me with concerned eyes as I went and gently picked up the necklace. I sat down very slowly on the bed and replayed the moment Thomas gave me this. I couldn't believe I was letting these memories out but I just had to think of them.

Noelle snapped me out of my tear enhancing thoughts when she sat on the bed next to me.

"I remember this," she said to me. "You wore it to that soccer practice when you made me tumble on my ass."

Even though it wasn't a time for laughing, I let out a tiny laugh at the memory.

"I kept this in a box only I know about," I spoke to her in a whisper, "and this person had to go through my stuff to find it."

"It could have been anyone," Noelle told me. "Do you notice anything else out of place?"

I shook my head and closed the token in my fist. Noelle then took out her phone and typed something quickly. I stood up and I closed my eyes trying to get Thomas out of my head. His eyes, his hair, his scent. No, no, no don't think of that.

My eyes started squeezing out tears and I pretty much collapsed in a heap on the floor. My body wracked with sobs and Noelle raced to land on the floor next to me. She pulled me to her and wrapped her arms around me.

"Shh, Reed, shh. No you can't do this. This is what the person wants. You have to try to be strong," she whispered. I barely heard any of it as my thoughts filled with Thomas and Cheyenne and all the other people I had lost. I had to cry for another twenty minutes before falling asleep on Noelle's shoulder as she rocked me back and forth.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning I walked to breakfast fighting tears the whole way. I watched as my chocolate brown tall Uggs crunched through the left over snow as Constance talked my ear off beside me. She didn't even notice I wasn't paying attention to anything she said. She could talk to a brick wall probably.

Constance's voice suddenly cut off when Noelle said something to her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Constance shoot a worried glance in my direction.

I was about to grab the door handle when Noelle's arm pulled me back. The other girls kept walking and Noelle waited until the door closed.

"Speak, Reed," she told me. "You haven't said anything this morning. I need to know you are okay."

"I'm fine, just…going into shock I guess," I said lamely, not even believing my own words. I tried to walk past her into the cafeteria but she blocked my path.

"Fine. Just tell me if you are contacted again, okay?" I nodded and Noelle then turned to open the door with me following her.

Once we grabbed our food, I sat at the table picking apart my Pop-tart. I glanced around the room trying to escape my thoughts. My eyes landed on the Ketlar table and locked with Josh's. His face and eyes looked concerned and worried as they took in my expression which was probably blank.

My first thought was why wasn't he sitting with Ivy? I then broke eye contact to see Ivy sitting at the Pemberly table laughing with her roommate. Did something happen? Hopefully something did. I looked back at Josh to see the same expression on his face.

My heart started to thump and I looked down at my Pop-tart. I frowned as I broke the food into a million pieces just like my heart when I always remember that Josh isn't mine anymore.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I slowly made my way to chapel following far behind the rest of the Billings Girls. Noelle kept giving nervous glances over her shoulder to make sure I was still there. I felt like a zombie and my neck hurt from waking up on the ground in Pemberly. The sixth time Noelle glanced back at me her expression changed to one of confusion and anger. I pulled my eyebrows together and felt someone grab my upper arm. I opened my mouth to scream but stopped when the voice whispered in my ear.

"It's okay, it me," Josh whispered in my ear. His voice made me instantly relaxed and I let him pull me away from the chapel door. Noelle stopped and turned around getting ready to yell something that could get her a good chat with Headmaster Hathaway.

Josh pulled me to the outside corner of the chapel. We were surrounded by trees which kept the cool breeze from blowing on us. He was less than a foot away from me and I could feel the body heat coming off of him. I looked into his eyes and all I saw was worry.

"Reed, what's wrong? I haven't seen you like this in forever," Josh said to me quietly.

"I….I'm just exhausted, that's all," I whispered. Josh shook his head and took a step closer to me.

"Don't lie to me. I know you and I can tell when you're lying," Josh told me. He knew me too well to tell something was immensely wrong.

I shook my head as the tears I tried to keep at bay seeped out of my eyes. I took in a shaky breath and made the mistake of looking into his eyes. His eyes were scrunched with worry and that made the tears fall harder. I looked at the ground a faintly heard Josh say, "Come here."

I felt his strong arms slide around my shoulders and pull me flush again his body. My arms reached up and locked around his waist while I leaned my forehead against his shoulder. I only came up to his bicep and I felt as if my body fit perfectly with his.

I turned my face so my cheek landed right over his heart and whispered four words.

"I have another stalker."

Josh's arms tightened around me and I told him about the boat, the island, the messages, and the little present in my room. Noelle would kill me for telling him about this but I just couldn't keep anything from him. I just couldn't. When I was done he whispered in my ear, "It's going to be okay, Reed. I won't let you get hurt again."

I closed my eyes and tried to block out everything else in my life. There was only Josh with his arms wrapped around me and his heart beat speeding up as I wrapped my arms tighter around his waist.

_**A/N: Yay Team Rosh! I felt like I had a lot of Noelle and Reed in here so I felt obligated to add a little Josh in there too. I just have to say I love the ending in this. So cute!**_

_**I didn't originally think she was going to tell Josh but it just happened!!**_

_**Why do you think he wasn't sitting with Ivy? Are they having problems? Why did his heart speed up when her arms were wrapped around him? Hhmmmm.**_

_**I am really wired right now from all the candy I have eaten! AHH!!! I didn't go trick-or-treating but I handed out candy. It was freezing cold and raining out, ugh. Stupid Iowa weather.**_

_**So tell me what you think and what you want to happen!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**_

_**Love ya, Nicole**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything, but I wish I did.**_

"_I have another stalker."_

_Josh's arms tightened around me and I told him about the boat, the island, the messages, and the little present in my room. Noelle would kill me for telling him about this but I just couldn't keep anything from him. I just couldn't. When I was done he whispered in my ear, "It's going to be okay, Reed. I won't let you get hurt again."_

_I closed my eyes and tried to block out everything else in my life. There was only Josh with his arms wrapped around me and his heart beat speeding up as I wrapped my arms tighter around his waist._

Days went by without any word from my stalker. After my conversation with Josh, Noelle came and pretty much pulled me away from him without any words spoken. I haven't talked to him since but in the cafeteria I keep looking up to see his worried eyes boring into mine. I also found out Noelle pulled some strings to have a double in Pemberly. Okay, pulling strings are the wrong words, forcing her option is more like it.

I was in my gross single packing my things to be moved to the new room when someone knocked on the door. It opened and in walked Ivy Slade wearing black yoga pants and a black tank top. She had her usual icy glare plastered on her face as she went to sit on my bed. Okay, come on in!

"I heard you were moving," Ivy said to me while glancing at the boxes spread throughout my room.

"Yeah, Noelle managed to get a double," I told her while folding my white cotton sweater. The rooms were open after parents took their kids out of school because of the Sabine incident. Awkward silence filled the room as I didn't know what to say. I knew Ivy and I were somewhat friends but we weren't buddy-buddy. I spoke the first thing that came to my mind just to get away from the looming silence.

"So, how's it going?" I said desperately. Ivy cracked a laugh that sent chills down my spine. Even though she proved she was nice, she still scared the crap out of me.

"Okay, I guess. I actually came here to see if you were okay. You've been actually strange lately. I asked Josh and he agreed," Ivy told me. She dropped her icy look and looked at me sitting story style on the floor. My heart pounded at the mention of Josh and them talking about me. He wouldn't tell her, would he? He couldn't tell her, if he did that wasn't the Josh I fell in love with. But I didn't know who he was anymore, if he changed at all.

"I….I just keep thinking about," lie, Reed, lie, "winter break. I think the events are catching up to me." I didn't even believe my own words so there was no way she was going to believe them. But she did. I guess I'm getting the hang of this lying thing.

"It's in the past, Reed. Just build a bridge and get over it."

There was the bitch I knew was hiding in there. I opened my mouth to say it wasn't that easy but Noelle came running into the room. She noticed Ivy still sitting on my bed and narrowed her eyes.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have a bitch seminar to attend?" Noelle asked. Can I go one day without drama? Just one day?

Ivy glared at Noelle and slowly walked out of the room and whispered bye in my direction. Once the door was fully closed Noelle pulled my body up off the floor and started talking at hyper speed.

"I am the best person in the world. I arranged a meeting with the board to get Billings back! We won't have to live in this hell hole anymore. Yes, I am amazing, I know," she said quickly.

"Wow, back up, what if the board says no?" It was a stupid question but I just had to ask. What if we couldn't get Billings back? But with Noelle, if there's a will, there's a way.

"No? After I'm done with them, they will be begging for Billings to be rebuilt," Noelle said with a game face look on. She had this; she was going to milk this until Billings was standing again. I just hope I'm still alive to see it.

* * *

After five hours of walking up and down two flights of stairs with boxes, I stepped outside into the slightly warm wind. I decided a walk would clear my mind a little. I looked across the quad to see Sawyer sitting on a bench with his nose in a book. I smiled and started toward him. Sawyer was always a good person to talk to; he didn't judge my word vomit unlike some people.

When I was a couple feet away he glanced up at me and a sweet smile light up his face. He closed his book and scooted over on the bench to give me room. I sat down and smiled back at him.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in a while," I said to him. It was true, I haven't seen or talked to him since I first got back and saw Billings a pile of rocks.

"Yeah, just unpacking and all. And you didn't really look up to a conversation at lunch a couple days ago," he told me. He glanced around the quad and spoke again, "I like it here at Easton. Very wide and open, and very good places for reading."

I laughed and shook my head. This is what I liked about him. Down to earth Sawyer who acted like a big brother to me.

"Yes, very good places for reading indeed. And sorry about lunch thing, I just have a lot on my mind at the moment," I told him letting out a deep sigh when I was done. Sawyer nodded and looked into my eyes.

"Anything you want to talk about?" he asked. I shook my head no and he continued. "Okay, but if you want to talk about it, just come find me. I'll always be here."

"Thanks Sawyer. I'll tell you, just, not at the moment. I think I need a little time. But still, thanks," I reached out a grabbed his hand, giving a little squeeze. He squeezed back and a sad look came across his face. What was that about? He looked at my face and took in my silent question. He sighed and turned toward me a little.

"You still remind me of her. Jen, I mean. And I heard about the Upton break up. I just have to say good choice. You're smart, just like she was," Sawyer whispered. "You'll always be like a sister to me Reed, I always watch out for you."

"Same here," I muttered. He looked so vulnerable that I had to do something. I let go of his hand and pulled him into a gentle hug and as I did I saw a head of blonde curls quickly disappear into Mitchell Hall. He saw us. Why can't things go my way?

I felt a pang in my heart and felt my body stiffen. Sawyer pulled away in confusion and noticed my sad expression. I shook my head to tell it wasn't him.

"Hollis?" he asked and I cracked a smile at him for using Noelle's nickname and nodded my head sadly.

"He doesn't know what he is missing. His lost, not yours."

But it was my lost, I lost the love of my life and I might never get him back. I almost felt the tears coming when I heard Noelle yelling for me. I looked over my shoulder to see Noelle in front of Pemberly.

"Reed!! Come on; get your ass over here!" Noelle hollered tapping her foot on the ground. I looked back at Sawyer and said goodbye, telling him I'll talk to him later and made my way over to Noelle.

"What is it now?" I almost whined. Her brown eyes were sparkling in happiness and I knew something was going on. "What happened?"

"We have a meeting with the headmaster to discuss the future of Billings. And I have something that will guarantee the building." She started pulling me toward Hell Hall by my upper arm. After almost tripping twice on the way she finally let go when we were outside Hathaway's door. She walked right in earning a glare from the secretary.

I quickly followed to see the room filled with the board of directors. Noelle was standing in the middle of the room giving me a look that said _'get over here'_. As I made my way to her she started talking.

"You are all here because of the tearing down of Billings. Before you can argue about the topic I have something everyone will want to take a look at," Noelle unzipped her bag and pulled out several sheets of paper as I took my place at her side. Noelle smirked at me and continued to look around the room.

"I have page after page of complaints from parents, alumni, and students from here at Easton to all the way in Asia. I have lawsuits and demands that Billings needs to be rebuilt."

I looked around the office and saw Mr. Hathaway in the corner with a sort of worried expression on his face.

"Let me remind you that the Billings girls and alumni give Easton Academy a lot of money every semester and by you tearing down Billings, that is gone. This school is most likely going to go bankrupt by the end of this month by the lack of deposits," Noelle smiled and handed the papers to me.

I picked up the first page and looked to see how much money each family was giving to the school at the moment. Wow, big numbers, Noelle was right; Easton will fall without these checks. At that time Mr. Hathaway decided to speak up.

"Noelle, tearing down Billings was for the best. I know how much it meant to you but let's reason with this. This school doesn't need the lawsuits. And it was a building, just like the rest of the buildings here. Pemberly will be fine for you," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We will not rebuild Billings and that's final."

"No, it's not final. Do you want me to bring in the lawyers? I can take away everything from this school; money, alumni, teachers, and more. Taking this to court will cost you everything you have," Noelle argued. She wasn't going to stop until she got what she wanted but how were we going to win?

One of the board members walked over to Mr. Hathaway and whispered in his ear. They started silently arguing and I turned to Noelle.

"How are we going to do this? Do you really think he'll crack?" I whispered to her. It couldn't be this easy.

"Of course he will crack. He knows how much everyone pays and he can't ignore that. And I know that he already has lawsuits from the whole Sabine thing. He's struggling already," Noelle whispered back. I felt sick to my stomach with nerves and they grew when Mr. Hathaway turned back toward us.

He looked like he gained 15 years of old age and was pissed off. He sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger.

"One month. You have one month to prove you deserve to have Billings rebuilt. To prove this you need the grades, activities, and comments to be perfect. Also have enough money to cover the rebuilding on the property. That includes contracting, architect, crew, everything. If I hear one comment on how any of you girls disobey the rules of any kind, you are done," he then looked up to glare at me and Noelle.

"Your families cannot pay for this. My thought is you pick a charity to raise money for and I will match what you raise. And I do mean raise not have your parents pay. Volunteering, car washes I do not care but it has to be _raised._ Do we have a deal?" Mr. Hathaway questioned.

Noelle then smiled as she proudly said, "Deal."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I think I know how to raise the money," I told Noelle while walking to Pembelry. The cold air whipped at my cheeks and moved the bare trees across the dark campus.

"How? I don't think another party in New York is going to work again," Noelle muttered as we crossed the quad.

"Well, first we have to pick a charity for the money to go to. And to raise the money do regular things that won't cost us a lot. For example bake sales, auctioning off some of the items you have stuffed in our room," I smiled and felt Noelle shove me; making me step in a pile of snow.

"Selling stuff like magazines, stuff we make, oh, we can give soccer lessons!" I continued. Noelle laughed and didn't look convinced.

"Do you think that is going to work? It may work in Bumblefuck, Pennsylvania but not here. But the soccer lessons may help a little. Maybe a kissing booth? That would get money," Noelle was right, my ideas wouldn't work but, really, a kissing booth? Isn't that kind of, I don't know, slutty? But then again, it worked in She's The Man.

"I think a kissing booth will get a couple thousand," Noelle said. "And it better because if we don't get this money, all of us can kiss our futures goodbye."

I was about to respond when my phone started ringing.

_I'm your biggest fan  
I'll follow you until you love me  
Papa-paparazzi  
Baby there's no other superstar  
You know that I'll be your  
Papa-paparazzi_

Great, just what I needed.

_**A/N: Hope you like it! Okay I have no idea how to raise the money. I don't want them to have another big party and raise it all; I want them to actually work for it. So if you have ideas tell me!!**_

_**And I have no idea what to happen next. I mean I have something but it needs to come later in the story. So if anyone wants me to put anything in here let me know. **_

_**And another question I kinda want answered: In Kate Brian's book Scandal; do you think Reed will go with Sawyer or back to Josh? I want Josh but she meets a Sawyer and he miraculously ends up going to her school. Or is she going to make Josh fight for her?**_

_**Okay, so review and tell me your answers please so I can love you guys for the rest of my life :)**_

_**Review, Nicole **_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer: Kate Brian owns all.**_

"_I think a kissing booth will get a couple thousand," Noelle said. "And it better because if we don't get this money, all of us can kiss our futures goodbye."_

_I was about to respond when my phone started ringing._

_I'm your biggest fan  
I'll follow you until you love me  
Papa-paparazzi  
Baby there's no other superstar  
You know that I'll be your  
Papa-paparazzi_

_Great, just what I needed._

Noelle's eyes flashed to mine as I stopped dead when my phone rang. I slowly pulled it out of my pocket and with a shaky hand hit the button to open the text message.

_To: Reed_

_From: Unknown_

_You've been looking better these days Reed. Was it because I didn't contact you? Ooh, a kissing booth, sounds fun! Maybe you can get your little Joshy to show up, maybe because he knows about me and wants to help. Tsk, tsk, you shouldn't have told him. I just might have to add him in on my plan too. I can smell your fear, Reed. I'm closer than you think._

_Love,_

_You Know Who_

My heart shuttered and started again at double time. I turned in a full 360 degree circle looking for any movement around the campus. They had to be close or they wouldn't have heard Noelle's idea. I let out a shaky breath as Noelle grabbed my phone from my sweaty hand.

Josh. They threatened Josh. No, no. They cannot bring him into this. If something happened to him, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I shouldn't have told him. It was wrong and now they knew. Who was this person?

_I'm closer than you think._ This could be….anyone. They were here, at Easton; watching, waiting, planning.

"H-how?" I stuttered.

Noelle looked up from my phone with a worried expression on. My eyes filled with warm tears that threatened to fall at any moment. A lump formed in my throat and my stomach clenched.

"Come on, Reed. We have to get inside," Noelle whispered to me. She grabbed my frozen arm that felt dislocated from my body and pulled me toward Pemberly. When we were walking through the door I saw a flash of white out of the corner of my eye. My breath caught and I turned to see if anyone was there. No one was.

* * *

I felt numb as I walked to chapel the next day. My hair blew around my face as a crisp wind came by making me pull my coat closer to my body. I skipped breakfast, therefore annoying Noelle in the process when I wouldn't get out of bed. After showering, dressing in fitted jeans and my white cashmere sweater, I felt somewhat better. All that went down the toilet when I walked outside and hit the quad.

I breathed deeply and tried to get my windblown hair out of my eyes. Everyone was still in the cafeteria as I leaned on the outer wall of the chapel. I slumped there and closed my eyes trying to sort out my emotions. With this person I felt….violated, exposed; like I couldn't do anything without being watched all the time.

I drew in another breath and opened my eyes. Walking across the quad I saw I bright looking Sawyer with his nose in another book. He looked so carefree, like nothing in the world could bring him down. I remembered when I felt like that. It was when I came back after Christmas break last year. I was with Josh and there was no drama. Why did things have to change?

Sawyer sat down on a bench facing away from me and I considered going over there. I needed to talk to someone but I couldn't bring anyone else into my messed up life. If anyone but me got hurt, I would have to live with the guilt of that; just like I had to do with Ivy.

And with thinking of Ivy lead me to Josh. I couldn't let Josh get hurt because of me. Although I broke his heart and drove him into Ivy's arms, I didn't mean to do it intentionally. He was my….everything. I had to stay away from him. Or at least until I could figure who this psycho was.

I saw the cafeteria doors open and, as if my thoughts called out to him, Josh stepped out. My heart leaped but my head inwardly groaned. If he started talking or touching me, it would be even harder to stay away from him. And if I pushed him away, would I blow our chances of getting back together?

I couldn't blow that chance, never in a million years. I couldn't lose him again.

I turned to lean on my side and hoped for the first time that Josh Hollis would not notice me. If only I could clap my hands and become invisible. I looked over to the soccer fields and ignored the urge to turn around to see if he was coming over to me. I got my answer.

"Reed?" Josh asked quietly. I heart sped up to hear the hopefulness in his voice. I slowly turned around and was met with his worried blue green eyes.

"Are you okay? You look a little pale," Josh said quickly. He closed the last few feet separating us until I felt the heat coming off his body. His hand reached up like it was going to touch my left cheek but he pulled it back slowly. He eyes had a look of conflict in them until his hand rested firmly at his side.

I shook my head and felt the tears I thought I cried out last night fill my eyes. I broke eye contact to look at the ground. Josh took in my silence and grasped my upper arms.

"Reed, talk to me, please. Did they contact you again?" Josh's worried; panic stricken voice filled my ears. I swallowed past the lump in my throat having no idea how I was going to do this.

"I'm fine," I whispered lamely. I didn't even believe my own words.

"I know you Reed, and this is not fine. Talk to me, please," he begged. My heart broke at the tone of his voice. _You have to keep him safe Reed_ I thought to myself.

I raised my head and ignored the electricity flowing through my arms as his hands stayed grasped there.

"I shouldn't have told you, Josh. I can't risk you getting hurt in this," I said looking into his eyes. "I just can't."

"I don't care about that. I want to help you. _I_ can't risk losing _you_," Josh said bravely. He had to love me if he said that, right? What about Ivy?

"Please, Josh," I pleaded to him, hoping he could see I was doing this to help him. "I – I have to go."

I tried to free myself from his hands but they just tightened their grip. He took a step closer until I could feel his warm breath on my face. My breath caught and my heart started pounding so loud I thought he would be able to hear it.

I glanced down toward his lips and wished I could kiss them.

I saw him do the same and start to lower his head toward mine.

_**A/N: AHHHH! Okay, so I know you probably hate me from cutting it off right there. And this is my shortest chapter yet and I'm really sorry for that.**_

_**Thanks for the reviews and I collected some ideas. I just wanted to say Ariana and Sabine can't come back. I'm trying to keep this as close to Kate Brian as I can and I don't think that would happen. So sorry.**_

_**I can't update for the next two weekends. I'm going out of town this week until next Thursday then going to grandma's that weekend. So I will try to gather ideas when I'm visiting family in New York and New Jersey and write a damn good chapter for you guys.N**_

_**EW MOON COMES OUT THIS WEEK!!!!! But I can't see it until the Monday after it comes out. Poop :(**_

_**So tell me what you think please so I can get more ideas!!! ~Nicole**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: Private is not mine**_

_I tried to free myself from his hands but they just tightened their grip. He took a step closer until I could feel his warm breath on my face. My breath caught and my heart started pounding so loud I thought he would be able to hear it._

_I glanced down toward his lips and wished I could kiss them._

_I saw him do the same and start to lower his head toward mine._

I froze. My breathing completely stopped and my heart pounded like I was running a marathon. He was going to kiss me. Joshua Hollis was going to kiss me.

Wait, no. No, no, no. He was with Ivy. Was he going to cheat on her!? And Sawyer is sitting right over there. All he had to do was turn and look to see me and Josh standing here. As much as I wanted to kiss him….I couldn't. I just couldn't hurt people in the process.

All of this ran through my mind in at least two seconds. Josh was close, so close. I was working up the energy to move my body when I heard my name.

"Reed!!" Constance yelled. Josh jumped back like I shocked him. His breathing was hitched and he squinted at the ground by my feet.

I tried to keep my face natural when I turned to my right and saw Constance practically running towards me. When she reached me she grabbed my arm talking a mile a minute.

"I'm so glad I found you! We have to start planning for getting the money and I want to tell you the new idea. Holy crap! This is going to be so much fun!" She didn't even notice Josh standing a few feet away until my eyes glanced over to him. "Oh, hey Josh. Come on Reed, we have to go or Noelle is going to throw a fit. Again."

She didn't give me a chance to respond before she almost pulled my arm out of its socket and pulled me towards Pemberly. I guess we were skipping class and chapel today. I looked over my shoulder back at Josh to see him run his hand through his hair. He turned towards the brick wall of the chapel and slapped his fist into it. _What_ was he doing?

I tried to turn back to help him but Constance slowed to whisper in my ear, "Keep walking Reed. You both need to figure things out."

How can you figure things out by slamming your fist into a wall!?! I tried to turn around again but Constance gripped my arm tighter. Okay, ow! When did she get so strong?

"Reed, stop. I'm doing you a favor. I don't want you to get hurt again," Constance said with sadness in her voice.

I sighed, giving up and spoke softly, "Thanks for interrupting, I guess."

"Anytime. Now, I think I have a better idea for raising the money than a kissing booth. We have another dinner but we charge five hundred dollars for each plate of food. We get people to donate flowers, a band, food, etc. So if we get enough people we have five hundred dollars per person!"

"Constance, you're a genius! But do you think we could raise enough money with only a dinner?" I questioned.

"We could get a really good band to play. I think Vienna and London had a few connections with some. It is for a charity, so it would be a good cause. We don't have to tell anybody it is also for helping Billings."

We quickly walked into the door of Pemberly and saw every Billings girls sitting around Noelle.

"Finally! I thought I would be fifty before you came back," Noelle said with frustration in her voice.

"Sorry," I mumbled and Constance pulled me to sit next to her.

"Okay, we have a new idea. A dinner. I don't care if it is the same thing we did for raising money for the old whatever-its-name building was. We are going to charge five hundred dollars per plate and bring in famous people for attention. The charity we are going to donate the money to is St. Jude's Research Hospital for cancer in children. If people know we are helping sick kids they would feel like it was the right choice to donate money. We get money for Billings _and_ we get to help sick kids."

Noelle looked around the room and everyone nodded in agreement. Who wouldn't want to help sick kids? That would be just cruel if they didn't. Noelle turned to look at Tiffany who was seated on a pillow by my feet. She had a notebook with everyone's name and what their job will be.

"Okay, Vienna and London. You are in charge of getting the entertainment. We need a well known band that we like and the adults will like," Tiffany said as the Twin Cities slapped hands. They were wearing in matching sweater dresses with pattern tights and tall Uggs. London was wearing a deep purple dress and Vienna was wearing a light pink dress, both with their hair lightly curled at the ends.

My mind wandered as Tiff went through everyone name and what they had to do. I thought of this morning and Josh. Oh God. Josh. He…he punched the wall. Why? Is he okay? Was he mad that I walked away? Or mad that he almost kissed me? I just hope he is okay and he took his pills and didn't do anything worst than hitting the wall. I snapped back to the present when Tiff called my name.

"Reed, you and Noelle are in charge of getting the venue and informing people about the dinner. We need a big enough place to hold a lot of people and be willing to let us book it on such short notice."

"Any questions?" Noelle asked.

Lorna's hand shot in the air. Noelle sighed and leaned on the side of one of the couches.

"Are we doing formal or semi formal attire?" Lorna asked Noelle. Not entirely a stupid question but not the best either. I decided to speak up and put my input in.

"I'm thinking formal. It makes it a bigger deal and seem more important."

"Shopping!!!" Amberley squealed. Ugh. Hate. Her. So. Much. Why was she still here again?

"I agree. Okay, we need to get this done. Fast. So everyone more their asses and get this done," Noelle concluded. Everyone scrambled to get up and they ran in different directions. I stayed right where I was not feeling like moving.

"Come on Reed. This will take your mind off things. And go get your bag, we are heading to New York in five minutes," Noelle told me.

"Now? We just started classes again," I spoke up. "How did you get us passes to leave?"

"Please, I'm Noelle Lange. Hathaway practically gave them to me after a very fun stare down." She said with humor in her voice. "No go! We have to find a venue _and_ go find dresses. I want to get that over now so they have time to be fitted."

She pulled my heavy body up and gently pushed me towards the stairs. Today was going to be a long day.

* * *

Okay venue, done. It was called Smack Mellon. Okay, weird name but it was gorgeous. It had 35- foot ceilings and giants windows that looked over the Manhattan Bridge. I fell in love with it and thought it would be perfect. We planned to have the party the Saturday before our deadline. That meant we only had two and a half weeks to plan this whole thing.

While Noelle talked to the owner of Smack Mellon I called the rest of the girls and asked what they had done. We had the basics and all we needed was food, persons of interest, and letting everyone know.

Constance contacted all the Alumni and told them about the party so we had them and their families attending. We planned to invite everyone's family at Easton and tell them about the party. Tiffany had all the addresses and picked out the invites so that was done.

"Okay. Now we need to find dresses but not everyone one else is finished yet, so I guess we can shop around until they get done. I told them to meet at the dress shop in one hour," Noelle said casually as the car pulled up to the curb on Fifth Avenue. Stores lined the street and people walked in and out of the doors with packages galore.

"It is already 4 o'clock. I don't think we will have enough time to find everyone a dress before closing time," I pointed out. We these girls it took hours upon hours to find the perfect dress.

"I called ahead this morning and told them we need a favor. Daddy buys enough stuff for me there that they practically closed the store down for us." These people have money coming out of their asses!

"Oh," I muttered lamely as I followed her into one of the many stores. All of a sudden she stopped and I almost ran into her. I was about to ask what was wrong when she turned around with a weird expression on her face.

"Are you okay, Reed? You've been really quiet today." Noelle spoke quietly.

Was I okay? No. I felt like everyone was having the time of their lives while I was battling with my inner thoughts.

"I'm just, I don't know, overwhelmed," I said while moving towards a pile of cashmere sweaters. "There's a lot going on, I guess."

Noelle sighed and nodded. She locked eyes with me and spoke, "We do, but remember you can talk to anyone. Me, Tiff, Constance. We are all here for you, Reed. No matter what."

I nodded, knowing that they all had my back. But they didn't know what I had been through. Of course they could say 'it's going to be okay' and 'you're safe now' but they didn't experience the terror, the gut wrenching fear of dying.

"You look vulnerable, Reed. You're eyes are full of pain and I wish I could do something to help that but for once, I can't. I don't want to see the blank stare again. I've seen Constance take one look at you and want to squeeze you in a giant bear hug because you look so….broken."

I felt broken. Like everyone who had tried to hurt me or take my life took pieces of me. My heart was…gone. One look at Josh and Ivy shattered my heart into oblivion. I don't think I will ever be the same again.

Tears started filling my eyes but I reminded myself that we were in a public place and it would look strange to have a breakdown. Noelle put a gentle hand on my arm and squeeze reassuringly. Noelle would always be there. So would the rest of the Billings girls. That was why I loved them. Well, not all, of them. Missy and Amberly I could live without.

I needed to change this conversation so I asked the first question that popped into my head and spoke in a slightly shaky voice, "So what kind of dress are you going to look for?"

Noelle smiled a tiny smile realizing what I was trying to do and said, "I don't know yet but I think I want the color to be black. Personally, for you, I think something purple. I think it might work with the amazing tan you got."

About an hour later we spent so much money that I didn't believe it was possible. You know the Juicy Couture sweat suits? Yeah, two hundred dollars with a 25% discount on the top _and _bottom.

We walked into the dress store at exactly five o'clock and we saw almost all the Billings girls sitting in comfy looking couches drinking champagne and laughing. Amberly was the only one missing; good. I didn't need to vomit over her bright pink dress I just knew she would pick out.

Noelle went to find her dress first, of course. While we sat and waited for her to reappear, the girls filled me in on some of the stories over winter break. The first Noelle showed us was okay but you could tell it wasn't right. It had to be perfect and that was hard to find. Noelle was gorgeous and the dress had to be perfect.

She came out in dress after dress after dress but they weren't right. None of them. Then we found it. It was red and mermaid style. It was plain but Noelle planned to pump it up with a giant diamond necklace **(picture on profile)**.

Noelle nominated me to go next and I had to resist the urge to grimace. All I wanted to do was go curl up in bed and sleep free of nightmares. Like that will ever happen. So the next thirty minutes passed in a blur and I couldn't find the dress. Then just as I was about to give up I found it. It was perfect and I loved it. It was a deep, deep purple with one shoulder. It had the mermaid look that hugged my body up top and billowed out at the bottom **(picture on profile)**.

"Oh my God, that is it!" Constance squealed.

"Gorgeous! You have to get it, Reed," Rose said and smiled at me.

"It's perfect. You look H-O-T. And you just may break some hearts or gain some," smirked Noelle.

Now I couldn't wait for the party. Even though my gut feeling told me that something big was going to happen. And it was going to happen soon.

_**A/N: Enjoy! Go to my profile to see the pictures of Noelle and Reed's dresses. They took me forever to find! And New Moon was GREAT!! I loved it.**_

_**And I love your comments. Whatever you think about my writing is your opinion and I respect that. You know who you are who send me more than 4 reviews saying I suck and after I bitched you out, after I was sick of it, shut up. I can't wait to hear from you again…not.**_

_**Okay, turn off bitch mode :)**_

_**Thank you for the nice reviews and tell me what you think off the dresses and what you liked about it! ~Nicole**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer: Private is not mine**_

"_It's perfect. You look H-O-T. And you just may break some hearts or gain some," smirked Noelle._

_Now I couldn't wait for the party. Even though my gut feeling told me that something big was going to happen. And it was going to happen soon._

Snow. I absolutely hate snow. It only comes in handy when you want to get out of school early or not to go at all. And that is what happened now. Hathaway had classes cancelled the day after we got back from New York because the professors were stuck out of town. He said something about a conference and they couldn't drive back. I didn't really pay attention.

I had nothing to do so I just sat on my bed watching the snowflakes pour endlessly from the sky. The piles of snow on the sidewalk getting bigger by the hour.

"Hey, earth to Reed," Noelle spoke to me, pulling me out of my bored thoughts. Once she had my attention she continued, "Everyone's going to get hot chocolate, do you want to come?"

"I thought Hathaway said not to leave the dorms because he didn't want anyone getting hurt," I said in a calm voice, turning away from the window.

"Reed. Do you seriously think we are going to follow the rules? I want something hot to drink and I want it now, therefore, we're leaving," Noelle said with a 'duh' evident in her voice.

"Well, uh, I think I'll stay here, but, thanks for asking." Noelle nodded and after grabbing her stuff, walked out the door to our room with a quick, "Bye, Reed."

"Ugh," I muttered letting my back fall until I was lying flat on my bed. I think I may die of boredom. I was about to get my laptop from my desk but my phone ringing stopped me. It wasn't _the_ ringtone. Thank God. Wait. When was the last time I got a stalker message? Did they stop already? No, that's not possible. They never stop.

I groaned as I stretched over and grabbed my phone. I looked at the screen and saw SAWYER flash across the screen. Sweet, good, refreshing Sawyer.

"Hey, Sawyer, what's up?" I spoke into the phone.

"Reed." Oh, no, something's wrong. I could tell just by the tone of his voice that something happened.

"Sawyer? What's wrong?" I said quickly. I sat up on my bed waiting for his answer.

"Can you….Can you come over here? I-I just need someone to talk to," Sawyer whispered. The pain in his voice pulled at my heart.

"Of course. I'm coming. You're in your room right?" I said to him while looking around my room for my Uggs. I didn't need to freeze on the way over there.

"Yeah. Reed? Can you hurry? Please."

"I'm on my way. Five minutes at the most. I promise," I said to him. After putting on my stuff for outside, I went out the back door so I wouldn't get in trouble for leaving the dorms. As soon as the door opened I felt the cool air bite at my cheeks. Ugh, so cold.

After trekking my way behind Bradwell, I heard yelling coming from the direction of Ketlar. Josh and Ivy. Crap.

I slowed my walks trying to lessen the noise of my boots scrapping on the ground. When I got to the back edge of Bradwell I peeked around the corner and saw them on the side of Ketlar screaming at each other. It was then when I finally listened to what they were saying.

"Do you know how bitchy you sound right now?" Josh yelled at Ivy, while she stood there glaring at him.

"Well, I guess that's just who I am. A bitch," Ivy shouted back at him. I stood there wondering why I was eavesdropping but then I heard the next sentence.

"Yeah, a bitch who slept with Gage behind my back. And you what else you are? A slut who couldn't stay honest," Josh said loudly. Wow. Boy-scout? I think not.

"Oh, a slut, like I haven't been called worse. And so what? I got a little bored and you certainly weren't giving me anything, so I went to the person I could always count on. Gage," Ivy said with calmness in her voice like she didn't care. How-How could she? Just when I thought she changed, she didn't?

"You disgust me. If you got so bored, why didn't you end things?" Josh said stepping toward her, anger seeping into his voice.

"What things? We didn't have anything. Sure we hung out and maybe made out a couple times, but what do we call that? Sure we had a couple of good times but what did we do all the other times? We fought. Just like we're doing now! And I'm getting sick of it!"

Ivy glared at Josh and Josh glared right back at her. Ivy was the first to break the silence. "When you asked me to go to Paris, I thought it would be fun, but you were so distant Josh. Always looking like you wanted to be somewhere else. And that isn't fun in my book. We're not right together Josh. In front of people we put off the 'happy couple' vibe but that isn't what we had behind the scenes."

"Then the accident. Yeah, I was glad you were there, but I could tell you didn't want to be. And neither did I. So right now, let's end whatever we have."

"Gladly," Josh spoke as he folded his arms across his chest.

Oh. My. God. What did I just witness? Josh and Ivy just broke up. Josh and Ivy. Just. Broke. Up. Holy shit. I-I have to get out of here before they see me, but how? The tree line. I silently ducked behind the trees and made my way up to the door going into Ketlar. Thankfully it was out of their sight so I could slip in without them noticing. Seriously. I just ran away, what am I? Five?

Crap! Sawyer! It's been more than five minutes. I started running towards his room forgetting about the door that slammed shut behind me. I thought I heard Ivy say something more, but I couldn't be sure. I needed to get to Sawyer and make sure he was alright.

****(Back to Josh and Ivy's conversation, NOT in Reed point of view. Just the end of the conversation that she missed)****

"You sound relieved," Ivy spoke with some sort of humor I her voice.

"Truthfully, I think I am. I don't know why, but it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders," Josh said with his eyes narrowed at the ground as he tried to figure out his emotions.

"Josh, you and I both know why you're relieved. We both belong with other people. We don't belong together. I know for a fact that you still love Reed. Everyone sees that but you and her. And she still loves you. You guys just can't fess up."

"I…I don't know," Josh muttered while he rubbed the back off his neck with his left hand.

"God, Josh! Just admit it! I don't care! You, Joshua Hollis, are still in love with Reed Brennan," Ivy exclaimed. Josh looked at Ivy and let out a breath he was holding in.

The stood in silence while he brought up the words he wanted to say out loud for so long and he just let his heart to the talking. "I love Reed Brennan. I have since the first time I met her."

"Finally! The heavens have opened up and Josh Hollis has seen the light," Ivy laughed and Josh joined in the end.

He felt good. He felt like his life was getting back to normal. Finally. But it was Reed's life that was in danger and he had to make sure she would be okay in the end. He would do anything for her. No matter what.

_**A/N: Aww. Okay, I just sort of came up with this idea in gym today with my friend. It sounded cute at the time but I don't know now……**_

_**Tell me what you think, please! ~Nicole**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer: No, I do not own Private, I just love the characters.**_

_They stood in silence while he brought up the words he wanted to say out loud for so long and he just let his heart to the talking. "I love Reed Brennan. I have since the first time I met her."_

"_Finally! The heavens have opened up and Josh Hollis has seen the light," Ivy laughed and Josh joined in the end._

_He felt good. He felt like his life was getting back to normal. Finally. But it was Reed's life that was in danger and he had to make sure she would be okay in the end. He would do anything for her. No matter what._

_**Reed POV**_

Sawyer. Sawyer, Sawyer, Sawyer. Something was wrong. I could feel it in my gut. It was like the feeling when I found Scott in the kitchen with blood oozing from a cut he got from a knife. It was like sibling instinct. Sawyer was like my brother, and something was terribly wrong with him.

I ran up the side stairwell, taking the stairs two at a time. When I finally reached the right floor I pushed open the heavy door and ran to the room I knew he was in. I didn't even bother knocking, knowing that he was expecting me to come.

When the door was opened I saw Sawyer sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. His shoulders were shaking and I saw a tear fall into his lap. My heart broke seeing him like this. I quietly crept forward letting the door close with a gentle click. When I was standing in front of his form his head lifted up and I saw he had glistening wet eyes with tear tracks flowing down his face.

"Sawyer," I whispered with emotion thick in my voice. I hated seeing him like this.

His response was to pull my body down to his in a tight hug. I shifted so I was sitting beside him on the bed but I kept my arms wrapped around him.

Minutes passed but I couldn't find the right words to ask what was wrong. Sawyer's salty tears soaked into my navy blue Easton sweatshirt and I pulled him closer; hoping that just by my presence, he could feel like I'd help him anyway I could.

After a while, Sawyer's tears stopped and his breathing returned to normal. His tight hold lessened on my body as he pulled back to peer into my eyes. He looked like hell. His hair was splayed all over like he ran his fingers through it repeatedly, his eyes were red and bloodshot, and I noticed dark circles surrounding his eyes.

I probably looked the same, admitting that I shed a couple tears while sitting with him, feeling his silent pain. He looked like he hadn't slept, just like me.

I finally found words, stupid words at the least, knowing that nothing I could say would make him feel better, "Whatever happened," I whispered. "You have to know that I'm here for you. I hiked across a snow mountain practically for you. I'm here for you."

Sawyer nodded keeping his eyes locked on mine. All I saw was pain, so much pain.

"Tell me what happened. Please, it's physically hurting me to see you like this," I said to him. I needed him to say anything. Anything! His silence was killing me.

"My-my friend called," Sawyer whispered, not meeting my eyes anymore. "Something happened. He was calling to tell me about it because we grew up together and wanted my family to know what had transpired. He wanted to tell….me…." he trailed off; his breathing becoming erratic once again. I wanted to ask but he turned back to me with anger evident in his face. He looked….scary. Something I never thought I would see from him. When he spoke I felt a chill run down my spine.

"His girlfriend tried to kill herself. He said she had been depressed after a close grandparent died. She just finally snapped. He found her and saved her in time. But, why?" Sawyer whispered. Death. Why was their always death? And why did it have to affect the best people? Why?

He pulled out of my loose hold and began pacing around his room. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides; aching to hit something. His voice grew louder with anger.

"Why is there always death in my life!?! Why does everyone I know have to feel so disgusted that they want to kill themselves?!?" he shouted with tears sliding out the corners of his eyes. His voice softened as he muttered the next sentence. "Why can't these people see that I need them?"

During his rant I felt the tears pouring down my face. I hated seeing him so torn up, so….broken. Sawyer's legs fell out from under him as he plopped down on the ground. I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat as I dropped down by him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed so tight I thought I might strangle him.

"I'm sorry, so sorry." My words meaning nothing. I'd heard them a thousand times and knew they couldn't make him feel better.

And there we sat for hours; both of our tears pouring endlessly from our eyes and my weak statements trying to make it all better. But knowing that nothing I said would ever take away his pain.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I didn't want to do this but my stomach was begging me to. I had to pull away from Sawyer and go get us both food. He needed to eat to try to make him feel better.

I promised I would be fast. Telling him over and over I would be right back and not to do anything stupid.

I looked like hell. I could feel the tears that hadn't dried on my cheeks freeze from the cold air. My long brown hair pulled into a sloppy ponytail with shorter bangs and layers falling out around my face.

I didn't bother looking at my phone knowing I had missed calls and texts from Noelle asking where the hell I was. It was the very middle of dinner so I knew the cafeteria was full. All I wanting was to slip in unnoticed but I knew that wasn't going to happen.

I pulled the heavy door open and walked in with my head down. I sniffed trying to forget Sawyer's broken face tracked with tears.

When I reached the line I glanced at the table with all my friends. Noelle's worried eyes found mine and she looked like she was about to get up. I shook my head and hoped she knew I needed space. I was raw to the bone after being in that room with Sawyer.

Once I had enough food for both me and Sawyer, I tried to make my way to the door but I knew someone was following me. I kept walking, opened the door and stepped into the cold. A hand grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop.

_No_, I thought to myself as I squeezed my eyes shut. _ Just not right now, please._

The grip around my bicep dropped and two strong hands on my shoulders turned me around.

Josh. Of course. The words from his fight with Ivy echoed in my head. They broke up. Over, done, officially over with.

My wet eyes met his concerned ones and I finally processed what I saw and heard today.

Ivy cheated on him. He didn't even seem upset about it. Yeah, maybe his pride was bruised but….nothing. Did he really not love her? Care about her?

I thought how whenever I needed him since I got back from break, he was there. When I felt like I might collapse under the pressure he came by. He always came back to me. Always. Why? Does he still love me after everything?

What if he rejected me? Even after everything what if he picked someone else? He would be okay but I wouldn't.

Now wasn't a good time to think of this. Not after feeling all the emotions in me come up mere hours ago.

My eyes filled with more tears before I could stop them. _What if he didn't want me?_

Josh stood there, watching all the emotions flit across my face. The tears spilled over and I made no move to wipe them away.

I closed my eyes and shook my head trying to say _'not now'_. Then I felt Josh's thumb wiping my tears off my face. My sticky eyes opened and locked on his. His touch felt so good. It spread comfort through my body and somehow said everything was going to be okay.

His hand molded to my cheek and he looked at me with pain in his eyes. After this long afternoon spending time being Sawyer's rock and shoulder to lean on, I felt drained.

I needed a rock, now. So I shut off my mind and let my body take over. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around Josh's waist, pressing my cheek against his chest. I sighed, finally feeling complete when his arms went around my shoulders, holding my body to his.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered. "Everything's going to be okay. I promise."

I nodded and wound my arms tighter, begging him to never let go. I needed this, I needed _him._

_**A/N: So, what do you think? It's short, but cute I think.**_

_**What was your favorite part? Least Favorite?**_

_**I love your reviews, likes/dislikes, comments, advice, and I take them to heart. So if you want something to happen or think I should change anything major……..REVIEW!**_

_**Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Have a safe holiday and spend some quality time with your family :) I can't wait until my big family dinner on Saturday because I LOVE all the food. Yum…… **_

_**Review, please! ~Nicole**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer: Private is not mine. **_

_His hand molded to my cheek and he looked at me with pain in his eyes. After this long afternoon spending time being Sawyer's rock and shoulder to lean on, I felt drained._

_I needed a rock, now. So I shut off my mind and let my body take over. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around Josh's waist, pressing my cheek against his chest. I sighed, finally feeling complete when his arms went around my shoulders, holding my body to his._

"_It's going to be okay," he whispered. "Everything's going to be okay. I promise."_

_I nodded and wound my arms tighter, begging him to never let go. I needed this, I needed _him_._

It has been 4 days since the long day with Sawyer. The party was in two days and all the Billings girls were scrambling to get stuff done. We had the dresses, venue, invites, flowers, caterers, band, etc. But still, everyone was freaking out.

Honestly, I had had enough of 'Oh My God! My lipstick is the wrong shade! My outfit is ruined!!' Annoying; I called it. But I kept my mouth shut and I did my jobs, plus all the extra stuff that was handed to me.

I had four new messages from my stalker. They were small but still threatening. The words '_be careful what you_ _say, I'm listening'_, _'watch your back', _and the newest/scariest one '_I feel like something's going to happen to you…..soon. Watch out, I'm coming for you."_

All of them echo through my head. This person was going to confront me and most likely, hurt me. I couldn't let that happen.

So here I was, hiding in my room. I've been doing this a lot lately. I only came out for class, meals, and preparations for the party. I finished all my homework so the only thing I had to occupy my time was to read.

Reading was sometimes my escape. When I read, it felt like all the problems I had melt away and I'm just Reed Brennan. The girl who had nothing to worry about. It helped me go into a different world and let someone else have all the problems…..But the world always vanishes and reality sets in again.

"Reed! Hello! Earth to Reed!" Noelle said while walking into our room, making me jump because I didn't hear her coming. "You know you can't hide in here forever."

"I not going to hide forever," I told her. I closed my book and sat up. "I only going to hide until everything in my life isn't hell. I'm sick of all this drama. Why does it always follow me?"

Noelle sighed, not knowing how to answer that question. She was totally a different person to me lately. It showed me that she actually cared about me and she was trying to make me feel better. God, I hate being such a party pooper.

"Well, I think all the preparations for the party are done. Now we just have to relax and watch Hathaway rebuild Billings," Noelle said changing the subject while sitting down on her pillow covered bed. "I think this is going to be a hit! I had Tiff go down to Smack Melon to take pictures of the decorations and they are amazing."

"Great!" I say, trying to fake enthusiasm. "I think everything is going to be perfect. Let's just hope this party doesn't end like the last one we went to."

I thought back to Kiran's party and me getting on the stupid boat to leave. I pushed those memories back and looked Noelle in the eye.

"Reed, you better not leave my side at this party. With this person following you, I not taking any chances. If I have to tie a leash to your wrist, I will," Noelle joked half-heartedly. "Don't leave my side."

I nodded. I didn't want to listen to her but it was true, if I stayed with her, maybe I wouldn't get hurt. Maybe.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I sat down at the table in the cafeteria with Noelle by my side. Unfortunately I had to leave my room for dinner and try to actually communicate with people that weren't in books. I planted a fake smile on my face as I listened to Constance talk on and on about getting ready for the party.

Noelle made reservations for Sebastian's salon for us to get our makeup and hair done before the party so I didn't have to suffer through hours of being stuck in Constance's room while she did whose knows what to my head.

I mean, I loved Constance but sometimes she got a little out of control.

I focused my eyes on my food and spoke when I was spoken to. Everyone knew I was out of it. Hell, I even knew I was out of it. I wasn't scared or wallowing in fear. I just had the urge to be alone. I wanted to have time when my life wasn't in danger and I could do the things I wanted. But life doesn't always follow your wishes.

I sighed and lifted my head to meet the eyes I knew were staring at me. They were blue-green and concerned as ever. I was use to this now because his eyes were on me every time I sat down at this table.

That night when I had gone to get food for Sawyer, I gave in and let him be my rock. I didn't want to leave his embrace but I knew I had to. Sawyer, my surrogate brother needed me. When I pulled away from Josh, he asked me what was wrong but I said I would tell him later.

He watched me walk away from him and now was waiting until I came and talked to him. I wanted to talk to him but shut all the thoughts out while hid in my room.

My eyes locked with Josh's and I let the surge go through my body as they connected. I broke eye contact when all the feelings came pouring into me. I couldn't deal with this now. I had to focus on keeping myself alive.

I lifted my head again when I saw movement at the guy table next to ours. Gage and Graham sat down while Sawyer sent me a small smile when my eyes landed on him. I smiled a real smile back and started thinking.

I couldn't let this stalker get to me and hurt me. People here _needed_ me and I couldn't leave them. I had to keep myself and all the people I loved safe. This stalker was not going to win. They couldn't because I wouldn't let them.

_**A/N: Ugh, wow. I really hate this chapter. Nothing really happened so it's just a filler. I think I will have the getting ready for the party in the next chapter and then the actual party in the one after that.**_

_**Okay, I have a new favorite book!! Perfect Chemistry. Oh my God. I am in love like no before. I read it in one afternoon because I could not put it down.**_

_**Alex is my favorite :) He is amazing!!**_

_**If you haven't read Perfect Chemistry, you HAVE to. I swear you won't regret it. Love story that touches your heart. So if anybody wants to talk about this book, I'm ready :)**_

_**Review. If you have read Perfect Chemistry, what was your favorite part? ~Nicole**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Disclaimer: Kate Brian is not me. Therefore, I don't own this.**_

_I couldn't let this stalker get to me and hurt me. People here needed me and I couldn't leave them. I had to keep myself and all the people I loved safe. This stalker was not going to win. They couldn't because I wouldn't let them._

Bouncing. That was all I felt as I woke up the day of the party. I groaned and felt my stomach do flips and turns as I bounced up and down on my bed. I cracked an eye open to see who my annoying attacker was.

"Constance! Stop! I'm starting to get sea-sick!" I slammed my eyes closed and felt the bed stop moving. I breathed a sigh of relief because I didn't want to start my day throwing up.

"Reed, get up! It's already ten-thirty. We have to be at Sebastian's by one!" Constance told me. "I wanted to get you up earlier but Noelle said to let you sleep."

I sat up and let my warm sheets pool around my waist. I rubbed my eyes and yawned as Constance left the room.

"You better have your butt ready to go in a half hour, Reed," Constance yelled from the hallway.

I groaned again and stretched before climbing out of bed and walking to the bathrooms.

'_Holy shit'_ I thought as I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and my eyelids were slightly swollen. I splashed my face with cold water hoping I could bring the swelling down.

I brushed my teeth and tried to ignore my reflection. I would look better tonight after I had make- up on. Thank God for professional make-up teams.

I threw on sweats not giving a shit about my appearance and started walking down the stairs. I glanced around me trying to find one of the Billings Girls but seeing none.

I sigh pulling out my phone and almost press the call button when I see Ivy walking up the stairs.

"Hey, Reed. You okay?" She asked while scanning my appearance; sweats, no make-up, swollen and red eyes. Yeah, the usual.

"I'm fine," I say to her. Then I add in a sickly sweet voice, "Just excited for tonight!"

Ivy laughed an eerie laugh and gave me a small smile. We haven't talked lately so she probably thinks I don't know about her and Josh breaking up. I really didn't want to get into that topic at the moment so I asked the first question that popped into my head.

"Are you coming to the party tonight?"

"I think so. Everyone else on campus is going and I really don't want to be alone. But it sounds like a really good cause," Ivy said as she moved to the side of the stairwell to let a couple of girls pass.

I was about to respond when I got a text from Noelle on my phone. _Waiting by car, so you better move your ass_. Morning to you too, Noelle!

"I have to go. See you later tonight, I guess," I say lamely. I give her a small smile before walking down the rest of the stairs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I sit down in the salon chair once again with my hair and make-up done. The rest of the girls are getting into their dresses and laughing as Vienna almost topples over when her foot gets stuck in the bottom of her dress.

I'm still sitting in my sweats reading the text I got from Josh about five minutes ago. _Hey. Can we talk tonight? I know you said you would come to me but….it's important. J_

Was I ready to talk to him? I've been an emotional wreck lately and will talking to him bring even more questions about my feelings? And what does he want to say to me?

"Reed! Come on, get dressed. We have to leave in forty-five minutes," Noelle said to me making me jump when I realized she was standing right by my shoulder. I throw my phone in my purse avoiding Noelle's questioning eyes and raised eyebrow.

I quickly grad my dress off the hanger and start to get dressed. Fifteen minutes later Noelle comes up behind me fixing some strands of my hair. It was left down, curled and it flowed past my shoulders. I had dark smoky eyes with use of black eyeliner and a dark purple eye shadow.

I looked in the mirror and almost didn't recognize myself standing next to Noelle. She looked amazing in the red dress that looked like it was painted on. She had her hair lightly curled but messy. She looked amazing and I have to say, I did too.

Once I was checked as done and decent, I went back to my phone and replied to Josh.

_When and where?_

* * *

We had been at Smack Melon early but as soon as it hit seven, it was packed. I stayed at Noelle's side just like she asked and tried to mingle with some people at Easton. When Noelle had to go talk to some weird guy she left me with Tiffany at one of the tables.

She was showing me some of the pictures she had taken tonight and I cracked up at one with an old guy pulling a wedgie. It was one of my first real smiles of the night and it actually felt….good.

While she was looking through all her pictures I took the chance to look around the room. At all the tables there were many candles in the center. Candles were lit all around the room giving it a dim, romantic feel. String lights surrounded the pillars and were put almost everywhere. They were cheap but it made the room look so cool.

People were laughing and talking all around us, obviously enjoying the party. I was looking around finding people I knew when I saw him walking through the door.

Josh. His blond curls were windblown from walking outside and like all the other men; he was dressed in a tux. It fit his athletic frame perfectly and showed off his baseball arms. He noticed me looking at him and he smiled as our eyes locked. I gave a smile back and watched as he started walking towards me.

He had only taken a few steps before Trey came over and pulled him towards their group of friends. I looked down and saw my phone screen light up through my small satin clutch.

I pull my phone out and look at the new picture message in my inbox. A picture message from my stalker. Holy shit! The picture was of me sitting right where I was now. My stalker was in this room and they were watching me. My hand shook as my phone dropped from my hand. It felt as if the room was closing in on me. I had the feeling that someone was breathing down my neck. The phone vibrated again and I hesitated before picking it up. The text said, _I told you I would see you soon._

My brain totally shut off and it felt like my body on autopilot. I pulled it together and turned to Tiffany.

"I'm going to the bathroom, okay?" I said to her, surprised that my voice didn't shake.

Tiffany got up to follow but I stopped her. 'Tiff, come on. I'm a big girl. I'll be right back, I promise."

She hesitated before letting me walk toward the hall where the bathrooms were. My breathing starting to get heavier and I needed air. I knew it was stupid to go outside but my body didn't listen to my brain. There was another door that was propped open right by the ladies' room that led outside. I glanced back at the party and saw Noelle talking and laughing with an older man. I stepped outside and leaned my head against the cool bricks.

I was on the side of the building that was facing the bridge. It wasn't an ally because there were no other buildings next to the Smack Mellon. I stepped forward and let my eyes focus on the cars going across the bridge. The scent of water filled my nose and my brain felt clearer.

I was standing in some sort of empty parking lot and I could see the shadow of the door I just came out of. I closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath.

I didn't hear the person behind me until I felt a thick band wrap around my neck. A thick band that was successfully cutting off my air supply. The hands that were obviously male pulled the band back harder; making it almost impossible to take air into my lungs…..

_**A/N: Cliffy!!**_ _**Not as good as I thought it would be but it will do.**_

_**Reed's and Noelle's hair styles are on my profile.**_

_**You may hate me for this but I may not be able to update next weekend. If my teachers don't give me homework than I maybe can. I have a show choir competition at my high school and I have to work and perform at it. Therefore, taking my whole day that I usually do homework on.**_

_**Do you want me to add things? Review!**_

_**Tell me what you think! Review! **_

_**Now off to finish my Honors English paper on Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. Worst book EVER!**_

_**~Nicole**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Disclaimer: Private is not mine.**_

_I was standing in some sort of empty parking lot and I could see the shadow of the door I just came out of. I closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath._

_I didn't hear the person behind me until I felt a thick band wrap around my neck. A thick band that was successfully cutting off my air supply. The hands that were obviously male pulled the band back harder; making it almost impossible to take air into my lungs….._

I couldn't breathe. My lungs were starting to burn from the lack of oxygen and my head started to hurt. Just before I thought the band couldn't get any tighter around my neck; it did. At that moment I did the only thing I could do before I lost consciousness; struggle.

The man behind wasn't having any of that and he started to pull my struggling body toward the dark alley I was trying to avoid in the first place. I shouldn't have gone outside. I shouldn't have lied to Tiffany. And now my little actions were going to cost me my life.

When the guy had successfully pulled me into the dark alley, I looked at my surroundings. I could see the faint light from the party through the open door but I couldn't hear anything from the crowd inside. With my last burst of energy, I jammed my elbow into his stomach at the same time my heel stamped down on his foot.

The man let out a small cry of pain and let the band almost fall from my neck. The air stormed into my lungs as I tried to pull away. I only got a few steps away before both of his hands clamped around my waist and pulled me farther into the darkness.

My senses were on full alert and faintly I heard the sound of a knife being pulled out of its sheath. No. No, no, no, no, no. I was still trying to take in as much air as possible and my lungs were stinging like mad in my chest. My heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

With my last effort to stay alive I screamed bloody murder. I don't know if it was loud enough to be heard by anyone or if it was as loud as a whisper. The man spun me around and tried to cover my mouth but quickly put both hands on the knife and shoved it into my lower right abdomen. I screamed one last time as I felt the pain from the knife slicing through my skin in my stomach.

* * *

**Josh P.O.V**

I hate parties. Hate them. The stupid, fucked-up bad things always seemed to happen at them. The only good thing I had enjoyed at this party was seeing Reed. Reed. She looked gorgeous. The dark purple dress hugged her curves in all the right places and showed off her body. Guys all around the room were looking at her or glancing at her out of the corner of their eyes.

But she didn't notice them. Her eyes were locked on me as soon as I walked into the door. I wanted to go over there and tell her I loved her and wanted to get back together. But then Gage had to ruin the moment and pull me away talking about the playoffs and upcoming super bowl.

Throughout the whole conversation I kept sneaking glances at Reed. She looked miserable sitting at the table with Tiffany. I saw her smile politely at people but knew it was fake and forced. Was something wrong? Did her stalker contact her again?

I was then pulled into the conversation and the next time I looked at the table, Reed was gone. I looked around the room trying to find her. I think she once said that she had to stay next to Noelle the whole night but when my eyes found Noelle, Reed was nowhere in sight. Where had she gone? At that moment I didn't care if I sounded like a girl, I felt like something bad was happening to the love of my life. The same dreaded feeling I got when she was in St. Barths during winter break.

I pulled away from the group of guys and walked over to find Tiffany taking pictures of people around the room.

"Hey, Josh. What's up?" Tiffany said with a carefree look on her face. She smiled as an old couple started swaying on the dance floor and snapped a couple pictures.

"I'm looking for Reed, have you seen her?" I asked her. She looked at me and narrowed her eyes.

"I have, actually. But tell me why I should tell you? You broke her heart. You're not the one who saw her face the couple days after the Legacy or saw her fear in St. Barths. How do I know you're not going to hurt her again?" She said to me. I saw the venom in her eyes and loyalty to Reed.

"Tiffany, please. I-I was stupid. You're right. I wasn't there in St. Barths and I didn't help her, but the only thing that I'm sure of right now is I love her and I want, no, _need_ to be with her. And that something bad is going to happen or is happening to her, right now."

"How do you--," she started but I cut her off.

"I have no idea how I know, I just do. Tiffany, please. I love her. I never stopped. And I need her right now," I told her, my voice cracking like a girl's would when I said I loved Reed.

"She's," Tiffany sighed. "She went to the bathroom about a minute before you came up to me."

"Thank you," I said to her a kissed her on the cheek before I walked towards the bathrooms. Once I got into the back hallway I passed an open door that was very suspicious. Of course, Reed. Why did she go outside? She has a fucking stalker! She always walks right into the bad things. When I find her, I was going to have to convince her to never leave my side. Never.

I slowly pushed the door open a little bit farther and as I did, I heard Reed scream from a place that sounded far away. No, no. My heart beat started to stutter and my brain focused on finding her. I ran out into the dark and tried to find her anywhere.

I heard her scream again and finally saw a struggle down the alley way on the side of the building. I saw the shine of the knife after the man in black pulled it out of her stomach. My stomach clenched in horror as I saw Reed fall to ground with blood on her hands. I started running towards her but the man in black saw me.

He stepped over Reed's body and hit me square in the jaw. It hurt like a bitch but the only thing on my mind was saving Reed. I clenched my fist and slammed a blow into his stomach making him double over in pain. Faintly I heard Reed whimper my name and the man in black stormed past me, running away.

I ran the couple feet toward her body and dropped to my knees. I cradled her head in my lap and pressed one of my hands to her lower right abdomen. She winced and I saw the harsh red marks left of her neck that were surely going to bruise. What happened to her? Her breathing was shallow and her eyes were barely open, staring at me.

"Josh," she whispered so softly that I could barely hear her. "I-I'm s-sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"Yes….I do. So….sorry….for…everything," Reed said pausing in between words to take in mouthfuls of air. I pulled my phone out of my pocket with my hand that wasn't pressed on her stomach. I punched in the three numbers and put the phone to my ear.

"911, what is your emergency?" A female voice spoke to me.

"A girl was stabbed in the alley on the side of Smack Mellon. We need an ambulance now!"

I gave all the information to the women and prayed that Reed would keep breathing. I threw the phone on the ground and I felt Reed's small cold hand come to rest on my cheek. My heart broke as I saw the tears fall down her cheeks.

"I love you, Josh," Reed whispered to me.

"Don't you dare say your goodbyes, Reed. This isn't over. You're going to live through this. You're going to be okay," I say to her almost to reassure myself.

Reed squeezed her eyes shut while the tears still poured from them. My heart dropped as I felt her breathing become shallow and the lines on her forehead soften.

"No. No, no, no, no. Reed, come on, you can't do this," I said out loud. I leaned my forehead down and pressed it to hers. The tears in my eyes flowed over and my chest clenched as I said my next words. "I can't live without you, Reed. I love you. Come on, I need you. Please don't go. I need you. You can't do this to me."

Her eyes stayed closed and my tears kept flowing. "Reed, I love you. I love you. Please open your eyes. You can't do this."

I heard the sounds of an ambulance in the distance as I kept my watery eyes on Reed's face. I kept repeating I loved her and all my pleas and cries. I needed to see her eyes open.

"Reed, I love you. Please."

_**A/N: I feel like I'm going to cry now :(**_

_**I'm soooooo sorry that I haven't updated in two weeks! I had show choir the past two weekends that had me coming home at 4:00 in the morning on Sunday. Ugh.**_

_**But I got a lot of reviews and I absolutely love you guys!! **_

_**So what do you think? Should I add anything?**_

_**Now I'm off to go sign up for classes for sophomore year……..**_

_**I love you guys so much! Review! ~Nicole**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Disclaimer: Private is not mine.**_

_Reed squeezed her eyes shut while the tears still poured from them. My heart dropped as I felt her breathing become shallow and the lines on her forehead soften._

"_No. No, no, no, no. Reed, come on, you can't do this," I said out loud. I leaned my forehead down and pressed it to hers. The tears in my eyes flowed over and my chest clenched as I said my next words. "I can't live without you, Reed. I love you. Come on, I need you. Please don't go. I need you. You can't do this to me."_

_Her eyes stayed closed and my tears kept flowing. "Reed, I love you. I love you. Please open your eyes. You can't do this."_

_I heard the sounds of an ambulance in the distance as I kept my watery eyes on Reed's face. I kept repeating I loved her and all my pleas and cries. I needed to see her eyes open._

"_Reed, I love you. Please."_

**Josh P.O.V**

Reed. Reed. Reed. Each beat of my heart called out her name. I can't believe my heart is still beating after everything that has happened. I'm sitting in the waiting room at the hospital Reed was taken to. Noelle is seated next to me on the phone with Reed's parents. I can hear her dad's panicked voice trying to understand what had happened.

Noelle came looking for Reed as the ambulance pulled up. The rest of the Billing Girls were scattered around the hospital. I even think I saw Ivy somewhere.

I thought back to the dark alley and cringed as I looked at Reed's blood on my hands. She never opened her eyes since the alley. I kept begging and pleading but she never responded. My thoughts were interrupted as a doctor came out of the room she was wheeled into.

Noelle and I jumped up as he came toward us while holding a thick sheet of paper.

"Are you here with Miss Brennan? I'm Dr. Sullivan, the doctor taking over her case," Dr. Sullivan said in a professional voice. I opened my mouth to speak but Noelle beat me to it.

"Yes. I'm her best friend, Noelle Lange. Is she going to be okay?" Noelle asked him as I saw a tear slide down her cheek. Wait. Hold the phone. The bitch cries?

"She will be if we work fast. We need you to sign these form so we can wheel her into surgery. Since her parents are not here and we cannot wait, you need to sign them," Dr. Sullivan said while looking me in the eyes. I glanced down to see the thick paper in his extended hand.

Noelle took the papers and looked at Dr. Sullivan with curious eyes. "What do you mean by, 'if we work fast'? What's wrong with her?"

"Miss Brennan suffered from a very deep stab wound in her right abdomen. When the knife was thrust into her body it punctured her appendix, creating a small hole. Her appendix is bleeding into her body and building up pressure. If we don't move fast enough, it may burst and spread infection. She has already lost a lot of blood and her body won't be able to fight against the infection with her condition," Dr. Sullivan said with sad eyes.

For the first time since I stepped into the hospital, I spoke up, "No. She can't die. She can't."

Dr. Sullivan handed Noelle a pen as he stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder. "It's going to be okay, son. She's going to be okay. She doesn't deserve to die and you don't deserve to lose her," he said to me in a comforting tone.

Noelle handed the papers back and we both watched as he disappeared behind the double doors once again. She sighed and turned to look at me. "Josh, she loves you. She's stubborn and she's not going to let this kill her."

I looked at my bloody hands and felt my throat constrict. My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. She can't die. I was trying to keep it together when I heard Noelle whisper, "There is a bathroom around the corner. Go clean yourself up while we wait for her to get out of surgery."

* * *

Two hours later I was sitting in the waiting room by the surgical wing. I had my head in my hands and tear drops of my tux pants. I never thought I could cry this much. At one moment I felt like a complete girl bawling my eyes out, but when I thought of Reed's body lying on the cool concrete, bleeding; the tears came harder. I felt my phone in my pocket start to buzz and my hand pulled it out to look at the caller ID. The screen flashed with the name _MOM_ and I knew I had to answer it.

The television was turned on and the story about a stabbing in an alley way was all over the news. They wouldn't give Reed's name but they said it was an Easton student. _Mom is probably freaking out_.

I answered the call and tried to swallow passed the lump in my throat. "Hey, Mom, I'm fine. Don't worry."

"Oh, thank God. It isn't you. But, what's wrong, sweetie? And don't give me the one syllable crap. Something's wrong with you and I can feel it," Mom's worried voice said to me. She knew me inside and out. I told her everything. What happened with Reed and Dash, Ivy, Sabine confessing, how I felt about Reed leaving, and Reed disappearing in St. Barths. My Mom was one of my best friends.

"I-It's Reed, Mom," I whispered. "I was the one who found her in the alley."

"Josh," she whispered. "You may have saved her life. Reed has been in danger ever since she came to Easton. She has had some bad luck. But you were there with her. You have saved her more than once. You helped her after Thomas. Cheyenne. So what if you had a rough patch. I hear the way you talk about her and how you get the light in your eyes. No matter what you think, none of this is your fault."

"But she could have died, Mom," I said louder. "I could have lost her. Again. I've almost lost her multiple times and she doesn't deserve to go through this. She's too good of a person to deserve this. And it may be my fault. I knew she had a stalker. But she kept pushing me away."

"Did you look at this from her point of view? Her stalker could have threatened you, Josh. Do you think she wanted to let you get hurt?"

"No," I whispered.

A long silence passed as I tried to control my breathing.

Mom finally broke the silence. "H-How bad is she?"

"She's in surgery. When she got stabbed it nicked her appendix. The doctors have to get it out before it bursts in her body and spreads an infection. She been in there for about two hours," I said to her.

"What hospital are you at? I know you're in New York and I will bring you a change of clothes."

"New York Downtown Hospital, 170 William Street in lower Manhattan. And Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For everything. I love you," I say to her.

"I love you, too, sweetie. See you soon."

* * *

We were allowed to see Reed about twenty five minutes after my Mom called me. It was like déjà vu seeing her lying in that bed. She was pale and cold. Almost like Ivy.

I pushed that thought out of my mind and put my warm hand around hers. It almost fit perfectly. Shit, here I am thinking like a chick again.

I rested my arm on the bed and put my chin on it. I stroked her hand and stared at her closed eyes; pleading for them to open.

_**A/N: Josh is a Momma's Boy! Haha. But still sad, though.**_

_**I can't update this Sunday or next Sunday and I'm sooo sorry! This weekend I have a show choir competition and then another competition the next in Hastings, Minnesota. **_

_**I really want to update but my schedule is so full!**_

_**Thank you for everyone who reviewed! I love all of your comments! It's so much fun to talk to you guys :)**_

_**So what did you think? Tell me in a review! Oh and Happy Valentine's Day 3**_

_**P.S: If you go to Kate's blog you can get a sneak peak of chapter one for Scandal :)**_

_**~Nicole**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Disclaimer: Do you really think I own Private? If you do; you have problems.**_

_We were allowed to see Reed about twenty five minutes after my Mom called me. It was like __déjà vu seeing her lying in that bed. She was pale and cold. Almost like Ivy. _

_I pushed that thought out of my mind and put my warm hand around hers. It almost fit perfectly. Shit, here I am thinking like a chick again._

_I rested my arm on the bed and put my chin on it. I stroked her hand and stared at her closed eyes; pleading for them to open. _

_**Reed P.O.V**_

It felt like my eyes were glued shut as I tried to pry them open. My body felt like it was freezing to death in a meat locker.

Images flashed through my mind of lying on the ground in the alley. I winced and whimpered as a searing pain erupted from my stomach. I felt a warm hand wrapped around my left one and tried again to pry open my eyes to see who it was. After a couple of minutes they opened a crack and the white light made me close them in an instant.

I opened them slowly and tried to swallow, but ended up lightly coughing. I whimpered again as I felt my abdomen contract. I looked around the room and saw light blue walls. The area felt sterile and cold which made me hate the room even more. Ugh, I hated hospitals. I felt the warm hand squeezed mine lightly again and I looked toward the person.

Josh. His head was lying next to our connected hands. His eyes were closed and I could see dried tears on his cheeks. I shifted to get my body into a more comfortable position and Josh squeezed my hand and frowned in his sleep when he thought I was pulling away. His presence made me feel better already.

I remembered seeing his face in the alley and saying that I loved him. At that moment I felt closer to death than ever before. I didn't want to leave the earth without telling him how I felt. But at this moment I could remembered what he said in return to my statement. It started to get fuzzy in my brain.

The pain in my abdomen was getting worst and winced as it wouldn't stop. I was watching Josh's face to try to forget the ache when his eyes suddenly snapped open and locked on mine. I watched as they filled with tears and he stood to kiss my forehead.

"Thank God," he whispered, "you're okay."

He rested his forehead on mine and stroked my hair with the hand that wasn't still in mine.

I swallowed to try to say something to him but I felt my face twist as the pain flashed through my body again. Josh pulled back, concern filling his features as he took in my expression.

"I'm sorry, Reed," Josh said to me.

What? He was sorry? Why was he sorry?

"What? Why are you sorry?" I croaked out. Josh sat back down, still holding my hand, and rubbed his face with is free hand.

"This shouldn't have happened to you, Reed. I-I should have done something. You don't deserve this."

"I don't deserve a lot of things, Josh," I whispered. "But these things happening to me, are happening for a reason. It's fate, Josh. You can't change fate."

"Maybe you can't. But do you know what I felt when I saw you lying there? Do you? I wanted it to be me. Right now I want to take this horrible pain away from you." He watched as I coughed again and helped me sip a glass of water.

When I was done drinking, I gave him a questioning look. At this moment I really didn't want to open old wounds but I had to know the answers. I wanted know everything. "Josh. I want to ask you something," I murmured.

"Anything, Reed. You can ask me anything."

"Why did you come looking for me?" I saw the hurt look on his face and regretted saying anything.

"Why wouldn't I come looking for you, Reed? How could you ask that? You're my life. My heart beats for you. You. I broke up with Ivy because I need to be with you," Josh stopped and looked away from my face. "I only started dating her because she was the opposite of you. You were warm and caring. On the other hand, she was cold and didn't care about anything.

"Before S-Sabine confessed at the party, I started thinking about you more and more. I thought about the whole night of the Legacy and what happened. I could see your side of the story a little bit. I was still mad as hell but, who wouldn't be?" he laughed without humor, obviously hating talking about that night of the party. "I knew I still cared about you when I got the present. It showed me that you remembered something that we shared. I wanted to talk to you at Kiran's party but you said no. When she said she drugged you and Dash, it was like the world stared turning again. You didn't betray me. You couldn't control it because of the alcohol and the drugs mixed together. It was practically what happened between me and Cheyenne. But back then, you forgave me. Anyway, I almost had a heart attack seeing her pull the gun on you."

He was babbling and I couldn't believe he was telling me all of this. He met my eyes and continued.

"I didn't want you to leave at the hospital but what was I supposed to do? I could see that Ivy needed me, but in that instant, when I saw you walking away, I saw that you needed me more."

I stopped him before he could go any further. "Is that the only reason you want to be with me? Because I need you? I'm not a charity case, Josh. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"No. God, Reed, how can you even think that? I want to be with you. My heart always belonged to you. It still does. It doesn't beat correctly unless you're near me," Josh said to me. He moved his hand to cup my cheek.

"You're my life, Reed. I can't live without you."

* * *

The next two weeks passed and I felt like they would never end. The police came and questioned me about the accident but I couldn't give them anything helpful. I wish I could figure out who this lunatic was and have my life normal. Or, as normal as it could be.

My parent couldn't afford the fight out and I had to spend over three hours on the phone repeating that I was fine and they didn't need to worry.

Josh almost never left my bed side. I almost had to get someone to practically pull him out the door to go back to Easton and sleep in his own bed.

The Billings Girls were as supportive as ever and Noelle came and told me we had enough money to rebuild Billings. She was ecstatic about it and wanted to start building as soon as possible.

Today I was getting discharged and I couldn't wait to get out of this cell. I was starting to feel claustrophobic and needed to leave. I sat on my bed, swinging my legs while I waited for Noelle to sign the papers. I wanted Josh to take me back, but after I heard he had a Chemistry II test to study for, I made him go study.

I placed my hand on my stitches and started to wonder how I was going to get through the next week until they came out. Noelle had to help me get dressed and I had to walk slowly so they didn't pull.

This week was going to be hell!

I thought about the time I spent with Josh over the past couple days and was happy to see that we were getting back to where we used to be. Everything was explained and accounted for and I felt we were going to be better than ever.

We still haven't said the 'L' word but I had to hold my tongue to keep it from slipping out. I didn't know what we were calling each other yet but I hoped we would figure it out soon.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard footsteps approaching my room. I looked up to see Josh leaning against the doorway when a small smile on his face. I tried to glare at him for not studying when he walked into the room with his hands held up in surrender.

"I studied, I promise. Even ask Trey."

I rolled my eyes and lightly smile when he took my hand to help me off the bed. I stumbled a little and put my hands on Josh's shoulders to steady myself.

I breathed in his scent and glanced up at him. He leaned down and kissed my cheek while putting an arm around my shoulders.

"Come on. Let's get you out here."

_**A/N: Well…it could be better, but I tried.**_

_**So should this be the last chapter or not? I have one more idea in mind that I could use but I want to know if you guys want it.**_

_**So, review and tell me if this should be the end or not! I'm counting on you guys!**_

_**I can't wait until Scandal comes out on March 9, 2010!! I want to know what happens!**_

_**And remember, New Moon comes out on DVD March 20, 2010 :)**_

_**Review!**_

_**~Nicole**_


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